I interviewed Theo, Squid and Chip at what may have turned out to be a non-existent sound check before their recent Coney Island High show. I've seen them play everywhere: I first saw them in the late 80's at a show that I couldn't pay much attention to because the guy sitting next to me was getting a blow-job in the balcony. I did manage to make my way to the floor and marvel at the sound and fury that was the Lunachicks. I wanted to find out what the real deal with the history was, but somehow, I got so lost in the energy of the things they are doing in the present tense, that I forgot to ask. It was noisy and I'm sure that I fucked up who said what, with all the chaos that came through on tape!
You have been together for about 10 years?
How has the band evolved over the last 10 years?
S: I think I've gained about 20 pounds.
C: Man, I cut my hair.
T: We can actually play now. (laughter)
That kinda helps. It's like free rehearsal everynight when you're out on tour and everything
T: Well, I wouldn't say free (more laughter)
It still costs you $25 an hour
S: and Blood and Teeth and Hair and Sweat
You've been constantly touring, it's been like three tours in the last 12 months or so?
T: one, two, three, four! Four!
Any good groupies? One thing that I think that SUCKS about being in a band is getting no good groupies.
T: We have some groupies. We have one who has that tattoo of the Lunachicks devil-girl on his arm (points to T-shirt).
Wow, that's impressive!
S: And then there's this little crew of girls that are like, "When we were younger, we used to." -and they're only like 18! - "When we were young, we used to run around and do crimes", and they were like this Lunachicks crew or whatever, and have these matching Lunachicks tattoos.
C: We had those three or four boys that followed us around.
C: They came to four or five different shows.
T: Down South!
C: I think they stole their father's credit card, and took off from work and everything
S: If you wanna be a groupie, you gotta work, that's our policy!
C: and they came and moved our equipment for us and shit
T: We have some in Japan that do that too, follow us around and sell out T-Shirts for us and stuff.
So you got yours to do work, the bad thing is that girl groupies know what to do. They know they have to get dressed up and shove their tits in your face, they know what the drill is, but boy groupies have no clue.
T: Or they're, like, scary!
So what are your tips for like boy groupies, aside from being born cute?
T: Fresh breath!
T: Don't talk, don't stand within 10 feet of me.
S: Smell good, don't speak!
My husband asked me, "You're not going to ask any girl-band questions", and I said "No!" But I have to ask you, did you see The Spice Girls Movie?
T & S: YES!
T: Loved it!
What's your review?
S: It sucked!
T: It was so bad it was great!
The only saving grace when I saw it is that we went with my friend's 7-year-old daughter, and her running commentary throughout the movie was brilliant. The only saving grace.
T: Did she like it?
She liked it, but she didn't like Scary Spice because she cheated at games, and her thing as like,"Baby Spice is Baby Spice because she eats a lot of candy and has a lot of toys". The guy played by Jools Holland summed it up best when he said,"that was perfect without actually being any good".
C: I didn't see it, but I think that if I saw it I would have to take a kid with me 'cause for a brunt.
T: It was cool when we saw it because the whole audience was so like (guffaws)
S: They were laughing at us more than the movie
T: They were laughing at us and nobody took it seriously but I've heard people stand up in the aisles freaking out
S: "Oh no, the Spice Girls are gonna die!" and we were like, "yeah"! (more hooting and hollering)
T: They're going to blow up! Yeay!
S: "It's my baby"! (Squid may be imitating Meryl Streep in the Australian baby-stealing Dingo movie here)
T: "lt's my baby"! (I think Theo is imitating Linda Purl in the made for-TV-movie about two retarded people who decide to have a baby, also starring Shaun Cassidy, as the retarded dad)
I don't know where that plot line was about. Where did the pregnant lady come in?
T: They're one friend, the pregnant lady.
What are some bands that have been helpful and supportive of you guys?
C: Well, whenever we tour with a band , they really help us out a lot. We get to ride on the bus sometimes.We toured with Offspring, they flew to a gig when we were in Europe and we got on their bus and shit, you know. So whenever we are with a band that says we are opening for them, they end up throwing us some bones.
T: Are you talking about New York Bands, though, or bands in general?
Bands in general, bands in New York, you know, how like certain bands come out of certain places, like in 1990, 1992, bands came out of The Continental.
(The band starts marveling at their meal tickets, just handed to them by the manager)
T: What is that?
It's your meal ticket.
T: Where's that at?
It's Burritoville, it's right around the corner!
That's about it. I'm probably the worst interviewer ever. I'm a newly -born fanzine geek.
S: We're just distracted.
But the lure of a free meal and a moving-target of sound-check prove to be too much for my less-than-captivating questions .As for a captivating show, it was inspiring to see raised fists during "PMS" with a all-ages girl-army shouting, "Give me chocolate! I want to fuck!" I'm bad for memorizing lyrics, but will never forget the vision of the anthem, and the tittering of teenagers who were waiting their turn to get backstage. Be prepared to work. - Lindsey Anderson
Lindsey Anderson aka Kitty Kowalski sings and plays guitar in NYC's The Kowalskis as well as being involved with New York hot-spot Coney Island High. Expect a Kowalskis LP soon on Blackout!