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The Best Job In The World Me: Hello? Telemarketer: Mr Day? Me: Yes. Telemarketer: Hi, my name is John and I have the best job in the world
today! Me: Do you. Telemarketer: Yes, I do Mr. Day! Because I get to give away 8 free
vacations to Las Vegas! Me: (Really excited) 8 free vacations to Las Vegas? Telemarketer: Yes, sir! 8 free vacations to Las Vegas! Me: (To my wife who's not there) HONEY!! WE JUST WON 8 FREE VACATIONS
TO LAS VEGAS!! Telemarketer: Ummm, sir...you didn't win 8 free vacations to Las Vegas... Me: Huh? (Back to my invisible wife) JUST A SEC, HONEY!! Telemarketer: You didn't win 8 free vacations, sir...I have 8 vacations
for two people each... Me: (Extra excited) REALLY? (Back to invisible wife) HONEY!! WE CAN
TAKE 16 PEOPLE TO LAS VEGAS!!...YAH...16...8 VACATIONS WITH 2 PEOPLE
EACH!!...JESUS CHRIST, WHAT A DAY!! (Back to the Telemarketer) Thank
you soooo much!! You do have a great job! Telemarketer: Sir...I think you misunderstood me. You can't take 16
people to Vegas. Me: What? Telemarketer: You can't take 16 people to Vegas. What you've won is
one trip for two people. Me: Huh? Telemarketer: You've won one trip for two people. Me: Not 16? Telemarketer: No. Me: Just a sec. (To my invisible wife) HONEY!? THEY LIED! IT'S JUST
ONE TRIP FOR TWO PEOPLE!! YEAH...IT SUCKS!! I DON'T KNOW WHY...I SAID
I DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHY!!...WELL STOP FUCKING TALKING AND LET ME FIND
OUT!! (Back to Telemarketer) Sorry about that...she's kinda pissed. Telemarketer: (After an uncomfortable silence) Yeah. Well...You've...uh...won
a... Me: Just a sec (Back to invisible wife. Highly frustrated) WHAT DO
YOU WANT???...YOU DON'T WANNA GO?...GIMME A FUCKING BREAK!! (Back to
Telemarketer) She doesn't wanna go to Vegas. She says it's just a bunch
of whores out there. Telemarketer: (Flustered) Well, we have...ummm...a trip to the Bahamas. Me: (Back to invisible wife. Angry) WOULD YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP!! JESUS CHRIST, WOMAN, I'M TRYING TO TALK ON THE FUCKING PHONE AND ALL YOU DO IS... (I disconnect the phone call) |