Wimp!

Sorry! I had to. You made the right choice. These are much nicer links than the nasty-in-your-face links on the other page. You should feel good about the fact that you are not a pruient person and that you would rather take the high road.

The Comedy Studio Kvetch Board
What do comics do during the day when they're sitting at their dull non-comic jobs? This.

Spank The Monkey
I don't mean like that. That would be under the Most Likely Very Offensive section. This is a game in which you...well...spank a monkey.

Web Toys
Bunches of time wasters from the Alanis Morrisette Lyric Generator to a text based version of Pong!

Books/Films in a Minute
Who has time to read? Or even watch a movie? Not me, and I'm assuming, not you, either! We're both to busy surfing the web for interesting tidbits to spam our friends with. Your worries are over! Books and Films in under a minute will allow you to carry on conversations at parties, disguising the fact that you're a clueless web-addicted geek. You're welcome.

Broadband TV
We've already established that your life consists of sitting in front of a monitor drinking coke and snarfing Hot Pockets. But reading isn't everything. You need some visual stimulation. Why not kicking back and watch some Korean TV? Or Belgium TV? Why not? Many of your friends claim they don't understand you, so why not see what it feels like?

Christian Scripts
I'm looking for just the right script to perform at the service next Sunday. Where, oh, where could that script be? Right here! If you can't find the script that will wow the pastor out of the more than 840 presented here, then your bound for the eternal lake of fire. Here's a quick sample -
BOB -- Would you like to go to a movie with me on Friday?
GIRL - (shouts) Think, girl, THINK!
AMY -- I'd love to, Bobby....
ANGEL - (walks away in despair) ...Oh, no....
AMY -- ...but I don't date non-Christian boys anymore.
ANGEL - (turns, smiles) Well, I'll be!
BOB -- That's okay, Amy. I'm a Christian now.
AMY -- You are?!
BOB -- Yes. I gave my life to Christ a couple of months

Gags Plus
Where can I get a Saddam Hussein bobble head doll? Where can I get Bill Clinton sex dollars? Where can I stuffed animals with erections? Why would you wants to?

The Pembroke College Winnie-The-Pooh Society
Ohhhh! We're young and kooky and we love Pooh! We play Poohsticks! Really! With the bridge and everything!

The HisTory of Michael Jackson's Face
Michael Jackson. The name itself begs the question - What the hell happened?! In the early '80's the smart money would have been on Prince to implode on some kind of kinky sex thing. But, as they say, watch out for the little guy! If you've ever wanted a comprehensive history of the King of Pop's plastic surgery, well, here it is!

The Demon Possesion Handbook
Do you have one of the following jobs - Case Worker, Church Worker, Correction Officer, Defense Attorney, District Attorney, Guidance Counselor, Investigative Reporter, Judge, Members of a Jury, Parent, Parole Officer, Police Detective, Police Officer, Psychiatrist, Psychologist, Radio and TV Talk Show Host, Reporter for Broadcast and Print Media, School Board Member, School Administrator, School Psychologist, Scout Leader, Social Worker, Student, Teacher, Theology Professor and Student? Then why in the name of the most holy of God have you not ordered and read the Demon Possession Handbook yet? To quote the site "This book is not about Satanism as an organized non-Christian religions. However, to the extent that Satanists call on supernatural power that has nothing to do with God, this book does explain how Satan can work through his demons to achieve evil outcomes. It also explains the Solution to demonic power." If you were able to make sense of that sentence then, boy, ummm...good for you!

Bigfoot Encounters
How much do you really need to know about Bigfoot? The limit is your own tolerance. This is an exhaustive site devoted to all things Bigfoot including, weirdly enough, a section on Bigfoot hoaxes. There seem to be some unscrupulous people who are trying to TRICK people into believing that Bigfoot exists! My favorite page, though, is the Links page. One of the sub categories is Animals Mistaken For Sasquatches. NOOOOO!

TallTexian's God Bless America Site
I know my spelling is not all that great, but I swear that's the way he spells it. If you've got a hankerin' for God and Country, both together and both at the same time, then bookmark this site NOW! It's quite beloved, judging by this comment from a woman in Kentucky "I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT YOU HAVE ONE OF THE BEST WEB SITES ON THE INTERNET. I JUST LOVE TO READ YOUR CARD. WHEN I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT, I JUST TURN ON MY COMPUTER AND GO TO ONE OF YOUR CHRISTIAN WEBSITES AND WATCH THEM UNTIL I FALL ASLEEP." Oh, and don't for get "America the Beautiful" played on what I think is a glass harmonica.

Tech Support Comedy
A site for beleaguered tech support to bitch about the folks that make their lives hell. Beside real life stories, there's audio of real live morons in their natural environments. If you're not tech savvy, then you might want to stay away from this site. They are not kind

Moosecam.com
...And sometimes you just want to see a moose. There's no reason, no logic, something deep within your soul whispers to you "Moose. Must see moose". Moosecam.com must have been built with that thought in mind. Billing itself as "Anchorage Alaska's Premier Urban Moose Web Site", one feels compelled to agree without even bothering to check out the other Urban Moose Web Sites based in Anchorage. It has a live Moosecam, a Best Of and the oddly named Moose Harlem, which I haven't quite figured out yet. Please contact me if you do.

Rockers For Life
"So, you wanna be a rock and roll star/get a pro-life stand and learn how to play." Wait. That's not how it goes. Rockers For Life, as you may guess from the title, is a site dedicated to rock band who are anti-abort - oops, Pro-Life. And heavy hitting bands like Soda Cans Only, Supertones and the oddly named, Already Famous. This is the group that staged the big protest outside MTV's Total Request Live. Don't worry. I didn't hear about it until I read it on their site. Packed with good information (there's going to be a Christian version of The Real World) and penetrating interviews with real rock stars ("I know that on my wedding night if I wait that my reward is going to be huge. It's going to be amazing and so special.") you'll probably want to bookmark this at some point in time.

Taxidermy.net
"Your gateway to the fascinating world of Taxidermy." Well. What can you say to that? This site has everything from cheesy graphics to disturbing photos of actual taxidermists. I'm not sure what bad moustaches and award-winning taxidermy have in common. From the novice to the expert, if you enjoy stuffing and mounting dead things, this is the place to be! The only caveat is that the most famous taxidermist, Norman Bates, is nowhere to be found.

Skolnick's Report
Need a good conspiracy site? Oh, not that "who killed JFK" crap. I'm talking FCONSPIRACYSE! Look no further than Skolnick's Report. With the amount of dirt he has dug up on the FGOVERNMENTE it's really amazing FTHEYEhaven't killed him yet. You might sample the three part series about "WAL-MART and the RED CHINESE SECRET POLICE". Not good enough? How about the seven part "COCA-COLA, THE CIA, and the COURTS"? Or maybe you'd rather read how Chandra Levy was actually a CIA spy for Israel. Plus, you can watch his scintillating style via RealPlayer.

I'm Changing The Climate
"Eco Activist fun for the whole family!" The point of this site is slap bumper stickers that say "I'm Changing The Climate - Ask Me How" on SUV and other gas guzzling vehicles. Not a bad idea!

St. Paul Police Prostitution Page
Could there be anything worse than winding up on a Web page that publicizes guys who pay for sex? I don't think so. As a side note, you can read some of the responses to the page at www.thesmokinggun.com

The Smoking Gun
And speaking of The Smoking Gun - Ever feel like you'd like to read the police report of Tonya Harding's recent DUI arrest? Or the police report for Noelle Bush's arrest for an illegal Xanax perscription? Neither do I, but you could if you if wanted to. The Smoking Gun excels at obtaining all sorts of fun information! You can find primary source material for almost any scandal you can imagine here.

WMOB - Wiretap Radio!
Are you waiting for the Sopranos to come back? Are you jonesin'? WMOB is the place for you. This site has hours of wiretapped conversations between Federico "Fritzy" Giovanelli and Frank "Frankie California" Condo. Just a coupla crazy hoods talking about Motrin, fish and back pain

The Ultimate Bad Candy Web Site
"We, of the Ultimate Bad Candy Web Site, do hereby declare war on any and all candy whose consumption serves only to create misery and suffering amongst the upstanding citizenry of the world." And this they do. Some people have accused me of having too much time on my hands. I no longer accept this criticism.

Stick Figure Death Theater
Despite the fact that there's a warning on graphic content, just how graphic and can killing stick figures be? Well, maybe a little bit graphic. This site is dedicated to Flash animations of...stick figures dying. Dunno why. But it is.

Mac Emulation Page
Why would you want to run a Mac on your PC? Ummmm...I don't really know. But you could if you really wanted to. I actually tried this years ago and it worked, but then I asked myself "why would I want to run a Mac on my PC?"

Life in Elizabethan England
Player 1: Prithee, good Sir, whither might findest I the threads of knowledge that make up an Elizabethan web?
Player 2: Dude, shut the HELL up widdat stuff!

Am I This Or Not?
Who knows why this site was created other than to tweak the Am I Hot Or Not site. Actually, this can be fairly offensive at times, but you've got to hand it to a site that asks the question - Am I Norway or Not?

World of Concrete
Must I say more?

The Archive of Hacked Web Sites
You hear about hackers and hacked websites all the time, but what do they actually look like? Here's an archive of about 30 website that were hacked. Some are amusing. Some have pornography. Some are just plain stupid. But at least you can say you saw one!

The Ultimate Bad Candy Collection
"Every five minutes a child cries because of bad candy", this site declares. They're mission is to stamp out bad candy wherever it is found.

The Freak
A nice collection of circus freak pictures

Virtual Crack
Is someone you know having a bad day? Perk them up by sending them some virtual crack!

The CIA's Kids Page
Get your kids off on the right track! You're never too young to meddle in the internal affairs of foreign governments. Try a Diguise or maybe a Word Search made up mostly of acronynms (HUMINT (Human Intelligence), DDCI (Deputy Director of Central Intelligence)). No. It's not a joke! It's your tax dollars at work!

Invention.Com
So...you're looking for inspiration. You wanna be an inventor, but just can't seem to come up with an idea. Here's a jumpstart for your brain. From the Flatuence Deodorizer to the Tidy Clip you'll find hours of browsing fun!

Earthstation.com
Pull up an Aeron chair and get comfortable. This site is a treasure trove for audio/visual historians. Spanning almost 100 years of recorded sound and image, you can easily get lost. Get plenty of coffee.

Survivor Application
I'll see you on the island!

Bible Gateway
Now let's see...how DID that Bible verse go? Oh, yeah! "The whole land will be a burning waste of salt and sulfur - nothing planted, nothing sprouting, no vegetation growing on it." Deuteronomy 29:23. A must-have for every I-need-to-know-that-Bible-verse person out there.

Dial-in-the-Truth Ministries
And once you've found that much-neglected Bible verse, URL on over (and I think this maybe the first time "URL" has been used as a verb) to this Fundamentalist, slightly conspiracty minded site. Wanna know The Dirty Little Secret About Rock's Teen Idols (hint: it's got to do with carnal lust) or find out more about The Mysterious "11" and the World Trade Center Bombing (hint: remember the Lincoln/Kennedy conspiracy?), then this is the site for you.

Peter Cook And Dudley Moore
Rev up the broadband, baby! You probably know Dudley Moore, but did you know he used to be funny? It's true! Even funnier is Peter Cook. Here's a bunch of videos (some with John Cleese of Monty Python) that are just shockingly funny.

Hero Machine
More hero search results. Pretty cool! Make your own superhero!

Health Buddy Demo
I found this while doing a search on "hero. It's made be HealthHero.

Frugality Intiative
The background is that Cisco Systems began implementing a poster campaign in their offices to be "frugal" to save money. This is a satire of those posters. Outstandingly well done!

AntCity
A rockin little game you can play in your browser. You are a giant. You have a magnifying glass. Fun tip - Training the red hot beam on the truck!

Fiberworld.com
Sometimes, and I'm not saying this happens a lot, you just feel the urge to learn about fibers. This is the place that you should go. After reviewing hundreds of fiber education sites this one, sponsored by the American Fiber Manufacturers Asso

tion, is the one to go with. After all, the a Shakespeare quote right on the front page. The only quibble I have with this otherwise stellar web site is - why, if it's a fiber site, do they use a brick background?s

The Modern Humorist
A high quality comedy web site. Be sure to check out the Encyclopedia Brown stories. One fave is Encyclopedia Brown and the Case of the Pirated MP3s

Mullets
Yes. I didn't know what they are, but now that I do...welll...i'm hooked.

Nikki's Gallery
Nikki was in a hotel lobby/Might say she was a...oh, now! Do you really think I'd post something nasty in the Not Very Offensive links? Just about the cutest darn page ever!

The Star Archive
"The #1 Guide to Celebrity Addresses This is a website dedicated to helping YOU to contact your favorite star!" Wow! And it's true - 1000's of addresses! This is the kind of site that some people (not me, of course) could get lost in. The great thing about this site is not finding the address, but finding the comments of the people who tried the addresses. Take, for example, Appolonia. (Awwww...c'mon! Bang your head a little! Purple Rain, for God's sake!!)

Tester's comment: "received email 'thank you very much for your nice comments. you can get an autographed 8x10 from me. the cost is $25 (includes s&h). let me know if you're interested.'"

Nuff said.

Ask A Rabbi
No. I'm not kidding and neither are they. I found out about this site from a friend name Rebbeca. Her IM name was Reb(deleted for privacy). One day, someone IM'd her thinking that she was a rabbi. Cyber culture - go figuh!

Easter Egg Archive
Not what you think! I haven't gone softboiled. In the geek world, an Easter Egg is a hidden program within an existing program, such as the pinball game hidden in Word97. Not always that easy to make work, but cool when they do!

Patio Culture
The definitive website about suburbia.

Little Nemo In Slumberland
This is NOT the nasty little cartoon movie. This is the original panels from the 1900's. Windsor McCay's soul may well have been injected into Tex Avery. Reading the original strip is like tripping without the drugs. What's more, it was incredibly popular in it's day. Why can't popular entertainment strive for this level of creativity?

A Tribute To Tex Avery
Cartoon anarchy. Groundbreaking then and groundbreaking now, Tex Avery's imagination could literally not be held on the screen. Wallpaper, wavs and much more!

Dean Friedman
The tendency is to say "Remember that song 'Ariel' from the 70's?" but that would do him a great injustice. Brilliant songwriting!

Ed's Reedeeming Qualities
A great band!

Tucows.com
My God! An actually useful link? What's gotten into you? This is THE source for freeware and shareware.

The Weekly World News
Don't wanna plop down $1.69, they have thier own web page! Journalism at it's finest. They reported the death of Timothy McViegh before anyone else...actually, before he was even dead!

Peter Pan's Home Page
"First of all, I'm 47, Single, and I live in Tampa Florida... just in case Tinkerbell is trying to find me!" This is jus the start of a web page like no other. Plus, he's a Christian! This site just won a Webby Award.

The Institue of Official Cheer
"Where the Past comes to Life - So we can promptly Beat it to Death Again." Just a fabulous site! From The Orphange of Cast Off Mascots to a retrospective of 1970's Interior Design this site has something for everyone. It makes me almost want to go back on my non-graphics promise!

911 Audio.com
Whaddya do when there's nothing to do? Why not listen to live police, fire and EMS scanners?! Also, you can scan the various codes of various police departments. A lot of the links don't seem to work very well, but possible paydirt if they do.

The Commercial Closet
A site that features Gay and Lesbian ads, including this miserable ad from the Christian Action Network that basically says that Hillary Clinton is a lesbian.

Tribute To Journey
There's just not a lot more you can say about this fine piece of Flash.

What Would Journey Do?
Okay. So now you got good and psyched and rockin' and cranked watching the the Journey tribute. The sky is blue and the birds are singing. But what happens tomorrow? How can you "hold on to that feeling? This site will do the trick. With quotes by Album:Track Number:Time you can fill your sould with the glory that is Journey!

The Onion
Just about the funniest thing on the web right now. Pick up the day-at-a-time calender, too. Best Headline from the Past - "God Wonders What Happened To The Planet Where He Put All The Monkeys"

This American Life
Ira Glass does the best show on any media. You can listen to all the past shows on Real Audio.

Folly.org
A friend's website. Some really great stuff! From the author of the site "it's not as good as my old site, but I have a job now, so my web site is bound to suffer. Also, that losing several friends has taught me important lessons about what should and should not be posted on a web site"

Adcritic.com
Just can't get enough advertising? Try this site. I don't watch a lot of commercial television, so it keeps me up to date. Also, there's a lot of non-commericial ads and parodies, as well. The best of which is Budwanker. "Wheatcuuuuuup!"