The following was my submission to the Write Like David Mamet Contest.

Airport Bar

(Two men sit in an airport bar over drinks.  Their luggage is next to them.)

A:  The thing that I am saying to you – The point, yes, the gist of the point –

B:  I know what you are –

A:  No.  (Pause)  You do not.  (Pause)  No.  Respectfully, I say that you do not know.

B:  The gum.  You talk of gum and how –

A:  But it is not the gum.  The gum – understand me now – the gum does play into it.  There is truth in that and it is an indisputable truth but –

B:  Ok, then what the gum represents in the equa(tion) –

A:  Representation, maybe – ok – maybe representation, ok, but, again, the gist-

B:  Then, what – I’m missing – tell me what I am –

A:  The overall picture.  The grand scheme.  The view from – the whole, for Christ’s sake, the whole thing!  You are fixated on - The gum blinds you.

B:  Blinds?

A:  Blinds.  It is not about that.  The consequences – what happens after the gum -

B:  After the gum.  (Pause) Go on.

A:  After.  I am not trying to be funny when I say this - the gum and baling wire is an analogy that is not far off. Gum holds the tenuous fabric together. Without it -

B:  Yes!  I see now.  The crutch is taken away.  They collapse. 

A:  Yes!  That is it.  That is it.  This non-smoker artifice is stripped away.

B:  They will want to light up.

A:  Want, I believe is too weak a term.  Want does not quite cover it.  They will have a primal need to light up. 

B:  And then?

A:  And then.  What other “then” can there be, then?  The floodgates will be opened.  Cigarettes will fly off the shelves.  We, as a nation, will breathe a long cloudy sigh of relief that this hell is over.  Once more, we will smoke.  It will be patriotic.

B:  Smoking will be.

A:  Yes!  Once more it will be the national habit.  Fuck gum.

B:  Yes.  But bringing down a plane with gum –

A:  Will take a lot of thought.  The answer I am looking for is not one of mechanics, but of your interest. (Pause)

B:  You know what you are asking of me.  You see what you are asking me to do.

A:  Yes.

B:  It is bold.

A:  Agreed.  Very bold.

B:  There is a madness to it –

A:  Madness -

B:  Not all madness is negative.  Please.  I need to think.  To think this through.  To engage –

A:  In a dialog.  I understand. 

B:  Why?  Why should I do this?  Why have you come up with this plan?

A:  For freedom. 

B:  Freedom.

A:  Yes.

B:  Freedom to smoke again, the way we used to smoke?

A:  In a way, but again, there is a larger picture.  It is also an issue of free will.  Of participating in the grand scheme.  Of what the Chinese call Yin and Yang.

B:  I’m -

A:  If America means freedom and you are free and I am free and the bitch next door with the dog – yap yap yap all the time – is free, then free will dictates that I make my own choices.  One of my freedoms has been curtailed and may be possibly taken away for good.  I, then, must make a choice.  And I have made my choice.  I am only to be stopped. I am only (Pause) There are those whose mandate – whose mandate – is to intercept such things.  To insure that such things of which I am speaking of, are not brought to fruition.  They have their job.  I have my job.  Our jobs intersect.  They are dependant upon each other.  These people, as it happens, work for Wrigley’s, they work for Bubble Yum, they work for Bazooka.  In effect, I, too, work for them in as much as I keep their employees employed.

B:  So you’re saying –

A:  I’m saying it is more than gum.  More than cigarettes.  More than planes.  There is intersection.  There is a greater good.

B:  Greater good.  And if it fails?

A:  There is still a greater good.  Let me be clear:  This is not about success or failure.  Success is good, yes.  I would rather succeed.  The primary thing, though, is keeping the wheels in motion.

B:  Wait.  (Pause)  Do I understand that the gist is (Pause) the service economy?

A:  (Broad smile) Yes.  The continued functioning and growth of the service economy.  The creation of a new service industry.

B:  Gum Control?  An office of Gum Security?

A:  Gum Control.  How many new jobs would be created?

B:  Many.  (Pause)  And if your plan succeeds?  There will be deaths.

A:  Many.

B:  And you say to the families, what – fuck you?

A:  I say to the families that I am sorry.  I say that that they will receive their compensation checks, which, by the way, will be paid with the influx of new money generated by the new industries created around gum and its eradication.  (Pause)  It need not be a large plane.  (Pause.)  Casualties could be kept low.  (Long pause)  Will you buy in?  (Long pause)  Will you buy in?

Loudspeaker:  Flight 892 for Dayton, Ohio is now ready for boarding.

(The two look at each other and rise.  Pause.)

B:  It would have to be a big fucking piece of gum.

(They take their bags and walk offstage.)