A Report From The Iraqi Theater
(Sung to Guys and Dolls)
By Nancy Dreyer, Benjamin Dreyer, Tim Mennel and Paul Day

What's playing at the Iraqi?
I'll tell you what's playing at the Iraqi.
Story about a Bagdad guy so in love with a Basra girl
That he sacrifices everything and blows himself up in Khanaqi.
And that's what's playing at the Iraqi.

What's in the Daily News?
I'll you what's in the Daily News.
Story 'bout a guy who stole an election when his brother helped disenfranchise a bunch of Jews
And that's what's in the Daily News.

What's in Al-Jazeera?
I'll tell you what's in Al-Jazeera.
Story 'bout a group of USO entertainers on their way to Baghdad including Anne Meara.
That's what's in Al-Jazeera.

Bush is the thing that has dicked 'em
And it looks like Baghdad's just another victim

When you see a prez
Curse a guy in a fez
You can bet
That he's doing it for some oil
When a bum fights wars
That a bum can't afford
Chances are that the bum
Is just fucking dumb
Or maybe he's bored

When you see some duds
Fire off all their scuds
With a splat that would flatten
The Taj Mahal
Call it dumb, Call it clever
Oh, but you can hate France forever
But the guy's only doing it for some oil
Some oil, some oil
The guy's only doing it for some oil

Thanks, ladies and germ warfare. We'll be here till Ramadan. Try the hummus!