We can spit when the girls are gone,
 Scratch ourselves and carry on:
 Belch and burp and fart and drool
 And swear and snort without the girls.

 But when they're here it's  "May I please..." 
 "I beg your pardon...,"  gingerly.
 We'll scrub and shave until it hurts,
 And even wear clean undershirts!

 When they're away we'll guzzle beer,
 Pretend that they were never here,
 Curse, get drunk, and smoke cigars,
 Burn holes in rugs, and fight in bars.

 But when they come we guys all cower,
 Perfume ourselves, then buy them flowers,
 Comb our heads and take full baths.
 My God, what power these women have!