The Even Steven

 No, I'm not just your average Joe 
 with innocent eyes in perpetual glow 
 who sheepishly turns away my face
 should I enter a disreputable place. 

 And I'm not just your typical Mark 
 enthralled by the sight of some bosomed young tart 
 who'd wiggle her biggles in my mug 
 then melt away dead in the clutch of her hug. 

 And I'm not just some lonely John 
 with nothing important to spend time on.  
 I can drink my beer and watch babes sway, 
 or I can stand up and simply walk away. 

 No, I am just an even Steven, 
 with goals and family and God to believe in, 
 and living my life's contribution! 
 Now come along meet my wife, lazy Susan.