Four-Eyes be chucklin' to himself. Straight-Jacket gets up an' sits by Pyro. He's on loosie number 6. Jacket looks at him. "Yo. Light me one." Straight-Jacket pulls out his own. Pyro lights it with his. The Jacket is still shaking. He can hardly hold it. Pyro grabs at the seat in front. Rips out a piece of stuffing. Shit-he LIGHTS IT!! "OH FUCK!!" screams the Jacket. He tosses the burning stuffing onta the floor!! Flat-Nose jumps up!! "Crazy bitch!!" he screams. The nigger stomps the shit right out. Turns to Pyro. "Yo!! Stop the shit Cyrus!!" Pyro looks back at the Voice. "Who's the craziest fuck here?!" "Yo, this is too much." says the Voice. "I take it back. You are." "All right then." The Jacket gets up an' goes to the back. Pyro starts gigglin' like crazy!! Flat-Nose shakes his head. "You all's crazy." Flat-Nose slides into his seat. Pyro sits there, giggilin an' puffin away at his loosie. Mouth looks to the back. "You better hope that guy didn't get the plate number of this bus, J." "Ah, what the fuck can he do, B?! So much steam comin' out the nigger's engine, he couldn't see shit!!" "Anyways, the motherfucker should've been watching in front, not watchin' J, B!" says the Voice. "Cops'll nail his ass, not J's." "My boy slammed into that truck hard." says Short Stuff. "Yeah." says Mouth. "You lucky nothing happened to him, man," "Ah, FUCK the nigger!!" screams the Jacket. "Yo, he comes after me, an' I nail the nigger's ass!! Hope the motherfucker got whiplash!!" "That's messed up J." says the Voice. "Thas right!! I'll slap the motherfucker around with my 6-foot-long DICK!! AH-HAHAHAHAHA!!!" I shake my head. Man, this bitch's gonna get popped one day. He be fucking with people too much. "Yo J." I say. "Whassup Jose?!" "You still got that carphone, B?" Straight-Jacket cracks up silly. "Ah MAN!! Yo, got it stashed at Rick's crib B. Gotta wait a while before I unload it. You want it B?!" "Nah." "Yo Bernie, I can't believe I got that shit man. Yo, at lunch I went by this house?! Bimmer in the driveway B!! Mother- fucking M3!! My man's car window was open, I see the phone, an' I say fuck this!! Took that shit B!! Just TOOK it." "Nobody saw you?!" asks Short Stuff. "Nah. Took it onto public, went to Rick's an' stashed it B. Them people in Westwood are stupid!!" "When was this, Jason?" asks the Mouth. "This past Monday." "They're gonna catch you sooner or later J." says Teaser. "Fuck that." says the Jacket. "They ain't gettin me that easy." I look up to the front. Four-Eyes be turning off the highway into a mall. I know what this means. Four-Eyes pulls into a space, an' looks at Flat-Nose. "Hey Jerome!" The nigger's passed out cold. "Jerome!!" Flat-Nose still don't move. Four-Eyes punches him hard in the leg. The nigger jumps up. "WHA?!?" "Wake UP!! I'm gonna go to the bathroom!" "Ah man..." "Watch the bus Jerome! And stay awake!! Don't let anyone off!!" "Uh...uuuaahharight..." Four-Eyes shakes his head. Kills the motor and takes the keys. He's out to the shithouse. Flat-Nose slides down again an' passes out. Pyro gets up. "Fuck this man. I'm gettin' a pack of Camels." "I'm joining you." says the Jacket. "I'm getting a soda." "Cool, B." They leave the bus. Mouth looks to the back. "Hey Bernie. How long was your license suspended for?" "A year, man. Yo, I did 140 on the Turnpike with my Audi. I was like, near Trenton and shit. Five State Troopers on my tail." "Where's the Audi now?" "That's the fucked-up part. My mom's selling it. She says I ain't driving till I'm at least 19!!" "That's messed up." "I know. That Audi was fat B. Yo, I drag-raced Jean down near Sandy Hook when we went to the beach this summer. His car was fat too. Had a Bimmer 318i!! We did 115. I beat him, but not by much B." "That's some ride!! We gotta get together with Jean! I want to ride in that BMW!!" "Listen, if I get tickets to see the Giants Ralph, Jean's giving me a ride. I'll get tickets for you, if you want. Then you can ride in it!" "Cool!!" "Ralph. You going to see Nine Inch Nails?" "Don't know yet. My brother's gonna try to get tickets. I'll know by Thursday." "Bernie!!" I shout. "Yo!! I ain't DEAF, bitch!!" "You see Manuel?" "That meatball?! Saw him yesterday." "What's up with him, man?" "Still goin' to North Bergen High. He's DJ-ing an' dealin' on the side." "Huh. I can outdeal that sucka." "You?! Suck my dick." "Stop offerin'. Man, I could outdo all those bitches in West New York. Could pull in $2000 eazzzilly." "Yeah?! Why aren't you doin' it?!" "Who says I ain't?!" "Huh. Lyin' bitch." "So what's with the new job?" "Yo, this job is the fattest shit, kid. I'm working at the post office part-time after school. $800 a week!! I'm getting a Harley B!! That's the FATTEST motorbike!! I love Harleys!! Take my girl out on it kid!! I'm saving up for one right now!! Damn B...I'm exhausted. Went to bed at 3!!" "What do you do?" asks Teaser. "Sorting and loading trucks. You get a good workout!!" I look outside. Jacket and Pyro are running out of a deli. They get inside the bus. Straight-Jacket goes to the back. Pyro gets in his seat. Lights up a Camel in a second. Takes out a bottle of water from his bag. "Jose." says the Voice. "Whassup?" "You getting your Public Enemy CD from Stacy?" "Yeah man. You want it?" "You ain't using it?" "Nah. Taped it. You can borrow it." "Cool, B." The door opens. Four-Eyes is in. Starts up the shitbox. And we rollin'. And we back on the highway. We get in the left lane. "Oh man!!" says Short Stuff. "What?" says the Jacket. "Yo Cyrus. Move over a second." "What the fuck for?!" Short Stuff pushes Pyro aside an' pulls down the window. Oh shit...!! No! He wouldn't!! "Oh fuck!! You crazy B?!" shouts Pyro. "What man?!" says the Jacket. "What?!" "Tyrone's pissing out the window!!" "What?!" shouts Four-Eyes. "OH SHIT!! HE PISSED INTO A LADY'S CAR!! HE PISSED INTO A LADY'S CAR!!" screams the Jacket. "THE BITCH STUCK HER HAND OUT!! SHE THOUGHT IT WAS RAIN!! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!" Oh MAN!! This is TOTALLY fucked up!! Everybody's cracking up!! Oh MAN!! I'm cryin'! I'm DYIN'!! This's the funniest shit I've EVER seen!! Four-Eyes is pissed off!! "Wake the fuck up Jerome!!" "W..Whaup man...?" "Get off your lazy ass an' sit Tyrone down!! He's pissing out the window!!" "Fuck...Y...Yo Tyrone...sit down man..." Flat-Nose gets up an' walks over to Short Stuff. Grabs his arm and pulls him away from the window. Homeboy's dick be dribblin' piss on the floor!! Flat-Nose shakes his head. "Yo man...Put your dick away." Short Stuff's gigglin' like a fucking retart. Puts his shit in an' zips up his fly. Sits his ass down in the back. Flat-Nose goes back to his seat. Everybody's still cracking up. I look back. Straight-Jacket slaps Short Stuff five. "Yo, you're fucked up B!!" he says. "That's some wild shit!!" "When you gotta go J, you gotta go." "Ralph! What's up with Claudia?" asks the Voice. "Oh man. Yo, that is one crazy bitch. I don't know what's her deal, man. I saw her last Friday night, on Bergenline? She thinks she owns me!! Comes up to me and starts talking about what I should be wearing and who I should be hanging out with! Bernie, she might be a piece of ass, but there's damaged goods in that package. And I'm fed up with that shit. I told her, 'yo, you're not my moms or my wife, okay?! Stop telling me how to run my life!!' And I hear she's pissed that I'm going out with Christy! 5 dates, and she thinks she owns me!" "Did you tell her off yet?" "No, but I'm thinking about it. I can't take much more!!" "I heard that Vinnie had some problems with her when they dated." "Yo man, I ain't gonna marry the bitch!! I'm just looking for a good time!!" "I hear that." "Who told you she was pissed at you?" asks Teaser. "Bianca and Terry. They told me yesterday at lunch." "You think she's gonna say anything to you before tonight?" "She better not! Yo, that be like her too!!" "You going on any more dates with her?" asks Short Stuff. "Hells no!! Yo, didn't you hear what I said?! I can't stand her!!" "Man, you're crazy. She's sweet B!!" "Listen man. Even a piece of ass can get on your nerves. I tell, you, she was doing this since the second date!! Always in my face and shit!! And she talks too damn much!!" Fuck you man. Look who's talkin'. "Yo, I hope she don't call me. I'm tellin' ya, I'm gonna tell the bitch to go fuck off!!" "Did you see Chris's sister?" asks the Voice. The Mouth shakes his head. "Oh man. Yo, I feel sorry for her B. Her brother's probably only got weeks, man." "Huh. Man, that's messed up what he did. Got AIDS from that shared needle. Went up with her last week. Homeboy's going to the bathroom at least every five minutes to spit up. Man, you can see ribs and shit." "Yo, he's stupid B. In a way, he deserved that shit." "That's fucked up Ralph. Nobody deserves that." "Don't give me that shit!! The nigger deserved what he got, an' that's that!! I wouldn't do something so stupid. Play with fire, and get burned bitch!!" Mouth looks at Pyro. "Hey. Got a Camel?" Pyro pulls one from his jacket. Hands it to the Mouth. He wraps them big, sticky lips around the cig an' lights it. Nasty -looking motherfucker. The Jacket speaks up. "Yo Bernie." "Yeah?" "Yo, I pistol-whipped some nigger last night. Haha!!" Mouth's horse-jaws pop open. Loosie sticks to his fat nigger-lip. "Wha?! When was this?!" "Around 11 B. Yo, I was with Moses in Newark . Went with him there and to Jersey City to pick up some hot shit. Bitch cut his car off in Newark. Moses chased after him and forced the nigger off the road onta an empty lot. Yo, I took my gun an' ran to the car an' told the ol' nigger to get out! I pistol-whipped the SHIT out of that nigger!! Moses kicked the motherfucker in the ribs while he was on the ground! I think he cracked a few, B!!" "Oh fuck." says the Voice. "How bad did you mess 'im up?!" asks Mouth. "We didn't stick around B. That bitch was out cold." "Jesus... you're a fucking NUT J!!" says the Mouth. "Yo, it was just a nigger. Old, smelly, knappy-haired watermelon-eating nigger. They don't mean nothin." "I heard that, motherfucker." says Flat-Nose. Oh shit. The Jacket's busted. Flat-Nose sits up. "Fucking... cracker." he says. Straight Jacket's starin' at Flat-Nose. He be sweating. "Yo man...be cool. I'm just playin'." The nigger's red eyes look him up an' down. "Fuck you." The nigger's head slides down again. I sit back, and take out a chocolate bar. Aw shit... I squashed the bitch. Motherfucking history book... I'm hungry, so I eat the shit anyway. I start thinking about Teaser's tits again. My dick gets hard... "Hey Ralph." says Teaser. "What, Jeanette?" "What's up with Maggie?" Mouth's eyes roll. "Oh man... Don't even get me started on that." "Yo, don't tell me you don't have an opinion on that." "Yeah, I do. But do you really want to hear it?" No, not really. "Man, I can't believe she's going out with Jamal. He a crazy bitch. I think he's crazier than J!! Yo, he played chicken against Gary near Cherry Hill, and Gary's car went into a ditch!! Gary was lucky to get away with just a few scratches!! I'm telling you, Jamal was the last person I'd thought Maggie would fall for." "I know, right? She doesn't seem the type! She's all quiet and shit." "I heard they were going to a slam-dance in the Village this weekend." says the Voice. Mouth's eyes pop wide open. "Maggie?! Slam-dancing?! No way!!" "Yo B. My source is cool." "That's unbelievable Bernie." says Teaser. "Oh man." says Mouth. "I'd pay to see Maggie do that shit. I won't believe it till I see it." "Ralph." says the Voice. "That reminds me. I saw Marco." "Oh shit... How's he doing?!" "Bad B. He's on a respirator." "Oh man..." "The doctors say if he survives, and that's a big if, he'll probably be a vegetable. Suzanne's probably going to be paralyzed neck-down for the rest of her life." "That's messed up kid. I tell you, Suzanne should never've let him get behind the wheel. Not after all them Bacardis..." "Ralph, she, Zack, and Mercedes were blasted too!! Nobody gave a shit!!" "And look what happened. Zack lost an arm and an eye, and Mercedes lost a leg. Yo, now tell me they all didn't deserve that. That's what you get for being stupid. I would never do anything so dumb." I look at Pyro. He opens his water bottle and starts chugglin'. "Hey Ralph. How's your brother?" "Doin' okay. They're still fixin' the fire damage to his apartment building. They should be done at the end of next week. He's probably going to have to move back there cause he can't find a place that rents as cheap." "Did he lose a lot?" "No, not much-" "Yo Bernie." says Pyro. "What?" "Check this out." I look at Pyro. He still's got some water in his bottle. And- Oh SHIT!! He threw it out the window!! "God-DAMN B!!" yells the Voice. "OH SHIT!!" screams the Jacket. "HE HIT THE WINDOW OF THE CAR BEHIND US!!! The bitch's flashing his lights!!" Four-Eyes looks through his rear-view. He's pissed. "Jesus fuckin' Christ...!!" Four-Eyes gets off the highway onta the edge of the road. We stop. I look out my window. Oh shit... The cocksucker's BIG!! He's all MUSCLE!! And he's a mean-looking bitch!! Four-Eyes opens the door. Big, nasty-looking cracker steps into the bus. He stares at Four Eyes. "Who the FUCK threw that bottle AT MY WINDSHIELD?!?" Four-Eyes points at Pyro. The bitch sinks in his seat. The cracker goes up to him. "YOU MOTHER-FUCKING ASSHOLE!!! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?!?" "Y-Yo, calm do-" "CALM DOWN?!? Your fucking bottle HIT MY WINDSHEILD!!" "Y-Yo, it was just a bottle of seltzer water!!" Oh SHIT!! The cracker's eyes go WIDE!! "WWHAAAAT?!?!?" Pyro sinks into the corner. Super-Cracker shakes his fist at the bitch! "If you were my son, I'D BURY YOU IN A FUCKING SECOND!! YOU NO-GOOD PIECE-OF-SHIT MOTHERFUCKING SON-OF-A-BITCH!!" Then he turns around, and looks at Four-Eyes. "You got some crazy fucking kids on this bus!!" Four-Eyes looks back at him. "No shit...!!" The cracker jumps out of the bus, shaking his knappy head. Four-Eyes looks at Pyro. "He should've beat the shit out of you." Pyro sits up QUICK. "Yo, FUCK you bitch!!" "In your dreams and my nightmares." I look over the top of my seat. Goddamn Flat-Nose be passed out all this time. I sit back down and shake my head. Straight-Jacket slaps Pyro five. "Yo-yo-YO!! That's fucked UP B!!" "Yo-if that bitch touched me, I would've KICKED HIS ASS!! HAHAHAHAHA!!!!" Fuck you nigger. You wouldn't've done SHIT. He would've taken you like the BITCH that you are. "Yo, this is a crazy bus man." says the Voice. "I gotta get off this shit." Part 3