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| Introduction | It is trite at this point to proclaim the human brain as the greatest computer on earth, and it is possibly no longer correct, in light of the Deep Blue/Kasparov outcome. But, you are in luck: Your brain is a lot better than the stuff they put in exercise machines, with a few exceptions that you couldn't afford anyway. | |
| What machines do | What is the main purpose of a computer or machine, anyway?
Ostensibly, to make exercise "better", whatever that is. One of the things that machines attempt to do is uniformly load a muscle throughout its range, using cams, hydraulics, computers, or whatever. They also tout their muscle-isolating ability, ergonometric advantages, safety, etc. And I didn't argue with this for many years, because I really enjoyed machines and gyms. And in principle, there is certainly nothing wrong with them. They largely do what they say they will do. But it's what they DON'T say that I take exception to. |
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| Machines have gotten out of hand | For 99% of people, muscle isolation is irrelevant; form
is irrelevant; large loads are irrelevant. And some of the machines themselves
are irrelevant. And it turns out that many of the "wrong" ways of
doing exercises are not so wrong! The only people who need to isolate muscles are body builders. And when you question the wisdom of their endeavor, and note the fact that the overall health of this group is among the lowest of any population anywhere on earth, including Bangladesh, you have an idea the practical utility of this concept for real people. Machines have gotten so popular, and I suppose these companies were able to pay their engineers plenty, because these machines seemed to get bigger, fancier, peculiar, and finally, they just got plain stupid, like some rube-goldberg device in a PeeWee Herman movie. There are some machines out there that are so complicated, expensive, and IMPRESSIVE that few people believe me when I tell them that if the bar they were hanging onto were just a little lower, they could do everything the machine is doing, and more, just by using their legs to assist the arms. |
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| The REAL Issue with Machines, esp. Home Gyms | Question: When was the last time you saw a treadmill or
stationary bike at a garage sale? Probably last weekend! When was the last time you saw a chinup bar at a garage sale? Never? The point to all this? We are genetically programmed NOT to exercise with most machines!! Sound weird? Here is something even weirder: We are genetically programmed to THINK we WANT to exercise!! Now, I know you are saying, This guy is getting to be a little much.....But this will make sense shortly. And marketers and manufacturers bank on the above statements, so that you keep on buying, as per the resultant syndrome called Post-Purchase Neglect Syndrome. Also, there is HoloBarre's Law: We are genetically predisposed to making the same mistake innumerable times, so that after we sell the treadmill to some other sucker, we go out and buy a stair climber. Because we don't make the connections described in the following paragraphs, we buy again, and again, and again, thinking it is something WE are doing wrong, instead of examining the inherently flawed proposition. I know people who have not only bought EVERY type of aerobic equipment (treads, stairs, rowers, gliders, etc., they come full circle and buy bigger and better ones for the next round, thinking that problem might have been in the quality or the model type. This is OK if you have the disposable income. But many people do not. $600 or $2000 is a lot of karate, dance, or music lessons, or tutoring for a child! Just like there are few victimless crimes, there are few wasted purchases without unrealized loss, at best. And I think the marketing of these machines IS criminal, little different than outright fraud or insider trading! |
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| More on Post-Purchase Neglect Syndrome | What is the reasonable explanation for Post-Purchase
Neglect? Although I semi-jest about the genetics, it is in fact true. The
process is part of our psychological make-up, and therefore is in fact genetic.
But what is this psychology? We confuse exercise with sport, activity, and fun. We are unaware that Exercise is the penance we must do for our sedentary lifestyles. Said sedentaryism, by the way, being part and parcel of high standards of living. Carry buckets of water up from the river, anyone? Penance is usually not fun, and is also a disruption to our routine. But because we are led to believe that exercise is simply an adult version of the fun things we did as kids, the reality of exercise's monotony does not hit us until Post-Purchase! And we then blame ourselves. Think about it: if your weather is not regularly brutal, and you still don't walk or run outside, why would you think you'll do so INSIDE? If you assiduously avoid stairs (which is why God made elevators and escalators), what makes you think you will use a stairclimber? And, the TV screens, the interactive video and gadgets that these things come with are just flavorings to a basically unpalatable endeavor! Rowing and cycling are different. These were FUN things to do on lakes and in parks. And we think that a machine in our house is going to be fun! There is nothing dumber or more stifling than rowing or cycling in place. Other reasons we buy these units are 1. Over the long run, they would seem to be economical compared to memberships, etc. Except that with PPNS, you must divide the purchase price by 7 (the average number of times someone uses said equipment before hauling it to the attic). 2. One could argue that the push for convenience drives technology. Our species LOVES convenience. My CATS love convenience. The sales pitch is that exercise equipment is convenient. SOME of them are, but that is not the issue! Monotony is the issue (and the aversion to sustained, boring effort!). |
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| One of the Major Confusions in America | Why do most people stop playing sports? Because the foibles of adulthood DO NOT EASILY ACCOMMODATE many activities. Yet, we fail to make the translation of our sport-days and our days now. With a little help from marketers, of course. But our memories are better than our abilities to translate circumstances, and we thus BUY IN to the memory, and the fact that said memory will be easily and conveniently achieved. Our capacity for memories, imagery, and false correlations are exquisitely played for big, big bucks. Although I certainly believe exercise is critical, unless you are truly overweight, most of the results are internal, and are not dramatic. Exercise is really a misnomer. Health comes from changes in lifestyle, not from accomplishments per se (3x /week at the gym). We are let by the nose with the enticement of performance, a totally irrelevant concept. |
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| The Real Dirty Pool | In addition to the futile buying in to memories, a far
deadlier marketing tool is used: Shame based marketing. Keeping up with the
Jones' was always a marketing force. But when sixteen y.o. girls are getting
breast implants (as well as men!), something has gone wrong. Generating dissatisfaction with who we rightfully are is nearly a trillion dollar industry. It is one thing to improve yourself...it is quite another to be made self-conscious about who you are, and manipulated into then changing it. The subliminal and not-so-subliminal messages about body-beautiful are devastating psychologically, especially to women and children. Not to mention that the contexts are usually fraudulent: Chuck Norris most likely never used a total gym in his life (before the endorsement), and most of these models spend most of their lives in gyms, using Weights! Not to mention not only our bizarre Western notion of beauty, but our insistence on imposing and exporting it, along with McDonalds and blue jeans. I will have lots more to say about this in another article. |
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| Is the Bottom Line: BUYER BEWARE? | Many people think so. I think this is an abomination,
because the playing field simply is not level. That corporations should exist
to blindly make profit off equipment that is practically useless is criminal.
That our well being is such a far second to business interests is bizarre. I
have lots more to say about this also, but the bottom line is that we must
become slightly paranoid to protect ourselves. This is a lousy way to live.
But, I suppose it beats hauling water from a riverbank. The health, exercise, and fitness industry is but another fleecing of America. |
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| The HoloBarre | Because it is universal in scope, you really have to be
DETERMINED not to do a thing with your body to leave it unused! Remember, you
rarely find a chin up bar in a garage sale!
Your natural formis utilized to naturally stress your body, to very high levels if required. You can accomplish what machines do with modified calisthenics, and much much more. You can load your muscles in a more accurate, efficient, and beneficial way than any machine can. It becomes a little complex to explain this, especially without pictures, but the best way is through a demonstration, or the video. See the Overview under HoloBarre in TOC. |
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