Star Retreat -- May 15, 1998

When people ask me if my time with Peter was helpful, I just grin and nod my head 'yes'. Honestly, his weekend retreats have been one of the best things I've ever done for myself. Before my experience with Peter, my world was gray. I hated to get up in the morning. For years, my life was filled with anger and loneliness. I kept waiting for SOMETHING to change.

The turnaround came when I truly decided I had enough. I wanted to LIVE. Through Peter's incredible wisdom and kindness, I was able to unlock the cage I kept myself in for so long. It's not the world against me anymore. I'm no longer an outsider. I can see beauty now. Even rainy days are most wonderful.

I have tremendous gratitude towards Peter for helping me love life. Thank you for all you've done, Peter. I love the gift of meditation and you helped bring that to me. You are WoNdErFuL!!

I wanted to thank you for the meditation workshop & retreat you conducted on May 15th. That experience has afforded me an opportunity to change much of the way I choose to live my life, for which I will be ever grateful.

One of the most significant changes is in my practice of daily meditation, which started as a discipline but is fast becoming a way of life. After my experience of the week end, it finally dawned on me that we were using walks, and massage, and Gestalt techniques... as meditation. I think I'm really starting to see how life is a meditation (should we choose to be the "seer" vice the "seen"). What started as a "got to" or a "should" is becoming a "get to".

In correspondence, prior to your workshop, you helped me establish some clarity about what I would like to see unfold for me during the week end with great elegance, love and caring. The healing I sought, at the moment seemed quite urgent. On Sunday, I realized what I had seen unfold in my life was an appreciation for my own uniqueness and an appreciation (and quest for) aloneness that transcends the specific healing I sought. I had always rejected the idea of aloneness, believing it to be akin to that familiar feeling of loneliness. What I have started to experience in that aloneness is a level of self-acceptance and self-love that I never imagined possible while maintaining some level of humility.

I've been listening to a country song for a while and never really heard the words before this week. I think it's called "One Of These Days". Anyway, the song starts out, "One of these days, I'm gonna' love you..." (as from a man who is unable to express his love to another); toward the end of the song, the lyric subtly changes to "One of these days, I'm gonna' love me". This "aloneness" stuff is a major shift for me and I'm afraid. A few minutes ago, in meditation, I realized how I have so desperately avoided being alone all my life. Even today, there are many things I do to numb-out the loneliness I fear as a result of being alone. These are things I get to change because they no longer serve me.

Of course, when I am OK with me, I am OK with the rest of the world. I am also more able to genuinely accept whatever is going on around me... even embrace that which I may otherwise have found unpleasant, or frightening, or painful. Many years ago, a man told me that "acceptance" was the key to all my problems. A few years ago, another man told me that what he saw in me was this "begrudging acceptance" wherein there was no energy, no life, no passion, and no vitality. My experience of acceptance today has an element of faith never before present; consequently it IS accompanied by energy, life, passion, and vitality. While I have intellectually believed and encouraged others to believe that "it's ALL good", that phrase is becoming more true for me.

Again Peter, thank you for continuing this work.
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