Outstanding Student's Story

Everyone who has attended a Meditation Therapy Retreat seems to have benefitted. One woman who attended only one retreat experienced an enormous personal breakthrough. When she arrived at the retreat, she said she suffered from CFS or Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. She was concerned that the long hours of the retreat would be too much for her. They weren't. She worked hard the whole time. A few months later, she was so grateful for the Weekend that she sent this personal testimony:

I'm moving to Southern California to become a personal trainer. Can you imagine getting paid to look good and to help others learn weight train and eat healthy? I've wanted this as long as I can remember and now it is happening.

I've been troubled most of my life from being raped at 9 years old and told to pretend it didn't happen. Matter of fact I suffered right up to age 47, then things started happening to me to get me on the right track. I first stopped my binge drinking, I stopped because my doctor told me my blood pressure was high and that I should only drink a glass of wine occasionally and I knew I could not do that so I stopped all together. Once my head was clear I started looking for things that interest me and I ended up on a website about Buddhism. It was exactly what I was looking for; it was love at first glance. I started buying books/tapes on Buddhism and meditation and start searching for websites. That's how I meet Peter, I started writing to him about my troubled life and he would respond and in a way no one ever has before. Peter once told me my fear of death came from my not being able to control it. I can now see that that's one of the reasons I could not stay married and had to control all decisions that had an impact in my life. So when an opportunity came that I could make one of his retreats, I did.

We spent the weekend in an unfinished house with water but no bath tub or shower. We cooked on hot plates and wandered around on farmland. We meditated day and night. We had open discussions about the topics we decided on prior to arrival to the retreat. My topic of course was my unhappy life. I had an opportunity to talk non-stop the same issue over and over again and no one complained they just listened.

At the end of the retreat I felt good and was very positive about how my life should go moving forward. I continued my reading and meditating after the retreat. First I noticed that I no longer had a need to discuss my rape with anyone even when an opportunity came up, actually I just didn't want to talk about it anymore. I started planning my future for when I retire. It's all making sense now.

I wanted to be happy and did not understand how. Now I know that happiness is within; everyone can control his or her own happiness. We're all responsible for our own happiness, we can let a problem or issue destroy us or we can put it behind us a move on with our lives. Yes, the person that raped me hurt me but I allowed him to continue hurting me through my adult life.

I now know we can not go back in time and change what happened so the next best thing is to put it behind us so we can enjoy the rest of our life that God has gifted us with. At 9 years old I told myself that God would not put this burden on me without reason and it's true. When I see people in need I always offer to help them because I didn't get the help I needed when I didn't understand what happened to me and why. God has traveled this journey with me and has been taking care and loving me even when I didn't love or take care of myself.

My children are all young adults and in five years my life will be mine again and I needed a plan. My plan was to retire early at age 55 and relocated somewhere warm, preferable in Southern California, and become a Certified Personal Trainer.

I went on vacation for 3 weeks to the Canary Islands to celebrate my 50th birthday and upon my return I told myself I couldn't imagine staying in this cold for another 5 years. I SO wanted to move and start my new life NOW. A week later my position with the company was eliminated and I received my 2-week notice. My first reaction was pure panic, but it didn't last long and an immediate calm came upon me when I realized that the only thing that held me here in the cold was this job that I was waiting to retire from. I was free to do whatever I wanted to. So I decided its time.