AP – Hollywood – Actress Anne Heche once again baffled the world and everyone she’s ever slept with when she announced only 72 hours after her engagement that she was having a sex change operation.  “It just seems like the thing to do,” she said through her press agent.  Her press agent declined comment as to whether she will be a straight man or gay man.

Her ex-fiancé, who could not be reached for comment, has allegedly been hospitalized for an unspecified illness.

Former partner, Ellen DeGeneres, who’s currently working on a one-woman show with the working title of “Smart Lesbians, Foolish Choices” was less than shocked.  “I’m not taking her back, if that’s why she’s doing it,” DeGeneres said.  “The first title of the show was ‘Anne Heche Is A Wretched, Lying, Manipulative, Deceitful Whore And I Hope She Burns In Hell’, so I think the new title shows my growth,” she wryly deadpanned.

An underground support network has formed for former lovers of Ms. Heche to help them deal with the feelings of conflict they have experienced.  One man, who asked not to be named, had just come out of a chronic depression believing he was the cause of Heche becoming a lesbian.  “There was a brief moment there,” he said, “when she was engaged when I was like ‘wow!  Maybe it wasn’t me after all!’  And now she’s gonna be a guy? I mean….” The man then burst into anguished tears of confusion.  Among most men, however, the primary question was would they still sleep with her after the sex change and would it really count as being gay.


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