I expect that most of you are familiar with Babelfish, the excellent online translation program attached to Alta Vista. Considering that it's merely a mindless sequence of algorithms that replaces words and phrases from one language into another without any consciousness bothering to make sense out of the randomness, it works pretty well. Take a huge swath of German gibberish, plug it in, and voila! (French: "there it is!"), you've got English -- or a reasonable facsimile thereof. If you want to communicate with foreigners, you can either spend 4 years of intensive classroom instruction followed by several months of immersion among natives -- or you can spend 30 seconds typing into Babelfish.
Is it really that difficult a decision?
But what exactly are they getting on the other end? If you were to write a letter to a pen pal in, say, Bolivia, and then run it through Babelfish, what would you be saying to your buddy? Would it be rude, obscene or just plain weird? Well, to test the hypothesis, I took some common English and translated it into Foreign. Then to see what Babelfish did to it, I translated back to English. Here's what I got:
Into and From Italian:
Rudolph the reindeer of Red-Nosed has had a nose a lot polishes, and if you never saw it, You could even say that she emits light. All the other reindeer has used riderlo and to call names; They never do not leave poor Rudolph Associarsi all the games of the reindeer. Then a foggy eve of christmas, Saint has come to say: "Rudolph with your luminous nose therefore, not guided mine sleigh this evening?" Then as the reindeer has loved it has screaied outside with the glee, Rudolph the reindeer of Red-Nosed, "you will go down in the history "
Into and From German:
We the people of the United States to form for a more perfect link manufacture justice, insure native Tranquility, make available for the general defense, promote the general welfare and fasten the Blessings of the liberty to us and to our Posterity, do ordain and manufacture this condition for the states of America.
Into and From Italian:
Engagement the allegiance to the small flag of the United states and the republic to which it corresponds, one nation under the God, indivisible, with the freedom and the justice for all.
Into and From Spanish:
I promise loyalty to the indicator of the United States of America and to the republic for which it is stopped, a nation under the God, indivisible, with freedom and justice stops all
Into and From French:
I pawn the allegiance at the indicator of the United States of America and the republic which it represents, a nation under God, indivisible, with freedom and justice for all.
Into and From German:
I pledge allegiance to the marking sign of the states of America and to the republic, for which it is, a nation under indivisible God, that with liberty and justice for all.
Into and From Italian:
Space - the final frontier... These are the travels of the enterprise of starship, the relative quinquennial mission: in order to explore the new disowned worlds, to try new life and the new civilizzazioni, in order to go GRASSETTO where nobody has gone before.
Into and From German:
Workstation - the locking boundary..., These are the journeys starshipunternehmens, its five-yearly mission: strange new worlds investigate, new life span and new civilizations select, over courageously to go where nobody beforehand went.
Into and From German:
Sit back and you simply to the right hear a history, a history of one fateful journey, which began from this tropical channel on board this small ship. The assistant was powerful sail that a man; the skipping device courageously and surely. Five passengers placed sails this day for an three-hour route -- an three-hour route. The weather receiving begun roughly. The small ship tossed. If not for the courage of the fearless crew, which was lost Minnow. The Minnow was lost. The ship, which is on the bank of this aground, uncharted wasteland island with Gilligan, the skipping device, also, the Millionaire and its wife. The film star, the professor and Mary Ann are here on island Gilligan.
Into and From French:
Put back right good postpones and you will hear a tale, a tale of a fateful voyage which started starting from this tropical port on board this tiny boat. The companion was a powerful man of navigation; the courageous and sure captain. Five passengers placed the veil this day for a three hours excursion -- a three hours excursion. To obtain started in rough weather. The tiny boat was thrown in the air. If not for the courage of the courageous crew, Minnow would be destroyed. Minnow would be destroyed. The boat failed on the shore of this uncharted the island of desert with Gilligan, the captain, therefore, the millionaire, and his wife. The star of cinema, the professor and Mary Ann are here on the island of Gilligan.
Into and From Italian:
The acres greens are the place to be. The life of the agricultural company is the life for me. Earth that is scattered outside up to now and widely. Manhattan Conservation. Just give that side of the country. Not, New York is where rather I would remain. I obtain the feeling hay the allergic odore. Adore hardly one seen of the penthouse. Love of treasure I, but give the tree-lined avenue to me of the park. The chores, the warehouses, fresh air, chronometer of the square. You are my moglie. Good bye, life of the city. Acres greens we are here!
Into and From German:
Green mornings is the workstation to its. Farm life is the life span for me. Country out up to now and, that far spreads. Maintenance even Manhattan give me that land page. No, New York is where I would remain rather. I receive allergisches smelling hay I admire an even Penthouseansicht. Love of the favourite I give you, but to me park avenue. Choir, fresh air, time of square determines the memory. They are my wife. Probably live, city lives. Green mornings there are we!
Into and From Spanish:
Stones of the flint. Solve stones of the flint. They are the modern family of the age of stone. Of the city of the bottom rock, a correct one of the pagination outside history. Let us mount with the family under the street with the courtesy of Fred two feet. When you are with stones of the flint, we will have awhile of yabba-dabba-doo. Time of A-dabba-doo. We will have an old glad short while.
Last updated April 1999
Copyright © 1999 Matthew White