By Bob Birch 050328

(edited 060201 by John Birch)

An Entertainment Tour with Full Access for Wheelchair People

Did your ever invent a holiday?

Here's your chance. Use the Puns Corps Holiday Inventors' Kit to put your favorite day into the calendar as a holiday.

To learn how, you can arrange to go on a make-believe trip to Memoryville, where each kind of thing is colored according to its name.  In Memoryville, wood is brown because it has the letter D in it.  Holly is green because it has an L in its name. (So the colors for Hollywood are green and brown.) W, H, and Y don't stand for colors.  Why?  Well, W, H and Y get lost in all sorts of words.

During our trip to Memoryville, try to decide what colors go with your chosen holiday, according to the consonant sounds in its name or topic. This list should help. Anything with D or T sounds should be brown. Wine should be red because of the N; Ham should be orange because of the M; Wire should be gold because of the letter R. In this way we get the colors red and green for the N and L of “Noel” the French word for Christmas, and we get red and purple for the N and K of Hanukah.

In Memoryville, numbers are called "numb-ers" because they used to "numb" the mind. To brighten up the numbers, a color has been given to each number from zero through nine. So that anything with that number has that color. For instance, wood is brown and holly is green.

In Memoryville, each consonant sound, like T or N or M, has a number and a color connected with it. The letter T stands on one leg, so it stands for the number one; n (with two legs) is for two; and m (with three legs) stands for 3.

Some people in Memoryville are French, and use the word Noel for Christmas. You may notice that the word Noel goes with 25 (for N and L), and with red (for N) and green (for L). The story of Christmas tells of a "tiny" baby; T and N stand for 1 and 2, so the number 12 goes with "tiny." So the right holiday for "Tiny Noel" is 12/25, or December 25th. (Christmas is on December 25 and the usual Christmas colors are red and green.)

Suppose July 4 is your favorite person's birthday. To turn July 4 into a holiday, check the table of consonants and numbers shown below to find what name and colors should be given to that holiday. You find that K and R stand for 7 and 4; July is month #7. So the name of your holiday should have a k-sound and an R-sound. For instance, if you choose "Carnation Day", the hard-c or k sound goes with July, and the R goes with 4. This fits the idea that the United States is the "Car nation" since it is where cars first came to be very commonly used, so your holiday on July 4 can be called "Carnation Day" with the explanation that you want the flower called carnation to be adopted as the national flower of the United States. Then you notice what colors go with K and R: the colors for K and R are purple and gold, so these are the colors that go with your holiday. The symbol of the holiday can be a purple and gold car with a carnation growing out of it. The Memoryville carnation has the colors of K R N Sh and N: these are purple, gold, red, blue, and red.

In the same way, if your favorite person's birthday is August 9, notice that August is month 8, so 8/9 stands for the holiday. The colors for 8 are gray or silver and the colors for 9 are white or, for visibility, pink. So the 9th day of the day of the eighth month can be coded with words like "Veep" "Fob" "FBI" or any combination of F or V, and B or P that you find on the chart below. This suggests Veep or FBI Day and the fact that "Ford President" has the v and p sounds

Mr. Ford became US president on August 9, from having been Vice-President or Veep, which has the V and P to recall 8/9 of August 9.


This is the basic consonant / color / number correlation.

S, Z, soft-C / black / 0;     Black is the color of the circular saw used by Wheezy or Whimsy, the retarded older sister of the Muses, to cut holes in the floor of heaven. Wheezy had asthma and couldn't go out to play, so she drilled the holes forming the outlines of the structures God was using in designing the universe so the stars were in patterns that looked like a bear, or a dog, or a whale, and so forth.

A mineral called Dale-ite or Daylight, from inside heaven, oozed down through the holes Wheezy drilled, and so we see what we call stars.  Dale-ite turned into a gas and people could see; then, in the evening, the Dale-ite cooled and turned into dew on the grass, and nobody could see anything during the night time, until next morning when the dew warmed.

D, T, Th / brown / 1;     Brown is the color of wood and of tea. A railroad tie is brown; and, in Memoryville, at least, a hat is always brown. Woody Hatt was the person who invented hats, according to the Memoryville legend. He always wore a brown hat and a brown hood.

N / red / 2;     Red is the proper color of things with n in their names, like wine and honey. (Memoryville wines are always red (to go with the N of "wine"; but outside of Memoryville, some wines come from Napa valley in California, so some of these wines are red (for N), some are white, for the letter P.)

M / orange or copper / 3;   This is the color of mummyyummy, a kind of orange marmalade that the Memoryville people thought the ancient Egyptians put into the tombs-of their dead, as food for the person on journey to the stars.

R / yellow or gold / 4;     Memoryville people explain this by saying that the golden arrow was used by Harry Yellow-Arrow, an American Indian in England, teaching the "Hinglish" how to use bows and arrows at the "Harrow" School.

L / green or holly / 5;   In Memoryville each hill is green and every whale is green. (Moby Dick is supposed to have been a white whale; Memoryville people say he had an orange(m) stripe, a white(b) body, and a brown(d) and purple(k) tail. But Moby Dick was a sport.

J, Sh, Ch, the s in vision, or the g in George / blue / 6;     Wisha, the witch who came over the crone's nest of Columbus' flagship, became blue from the wind : blew past her; the way the wind blew made the sea and sky blue. Wisha was also blue when she found that Miss Liberty, the good witch of the North, had reached New York harbor ahead of Columbus' (not so) fleet.

K,Q, hard C as in cow, or hard G as in gag / purple / 7;     There is a verse, "I never saw a purple cow." It is messy to saw a purple cow, so don’t do it. The Memoryville cow is purple. (At first it was brown, because it has a hide, to hide its innards from people.) Later, the Memoryville folk dipped it in purple yakyukky to debug it; since then every Memoryville cow and yak is purple.

F, V / gray or silver / 8;   Evie Fee, a friend of mine, invented the Memoryville custom of .paying any fee in silver; so silver or gray is the color associated F and V. Evie wore a silver band around her head as a sort of her wedding ring, but it was so tight-fitting that it made her hair turn gray.

B, P / white or pink /9;  The expression "white hope" grew out of the Memoryville custom of wearing white as a sign of hope and happiness.  Sometimes, when working against a white background, Memoryville people use pink to stand for the number 9, or for B or P.


Many Memoryville holidays are tied in with the Memoryville color number pattern. For instance, Trivia Day is January 4 each year the T and R of "Trivia" stand for 1 and 4. In the same sort of way, One-Tooth Rhee Landing Day is January 23 each year, and "One-Tooth-Rhee" sounds like "One, Two, Three." Swap Ideas Day is a late Memoryville holiday, and it is September 10 each year. The S of Swap stands for 09, and the D and S of ideas stand for 10.

Using this approach, you can decide what day is best for the name of a person or the topic of the holiday you want to establish.

Bits of history fall into place in Memoryville. For instance, the high priest used to wear purple and red (for the k and n sounds) “cohen" (which is the Hebrew word for "priest"). Similarly, Columbus wore purple, green, and red when he came ashore in the New World. (He actually first landed on the 13th of October (1492), but fudged the log so that "Destiny Day" could be used to recall the supposed date, since D-S-T-N recalls 10-12, as in October 12); Columbus dressed in purple, green, and red; these are the colors for the sounds of K-L-N, and thus are the colors that go with his Spanish name, Colon. Part of Memoryville’s Columbus legend is a story that Columbus took his mirror from his boson and complimented it on having such a marvelous owner. Ever after, the mirror smiled at him, even in 1499 when Governor Bobadilla sent Columbus home to Spain as a prisoner in chains.

Memoryville July 3 parties also reenact the first floodlighting of the Statue of Liberty in 1916, which was planned by Harry Alexander as part of a program to get inventors to help free people from drudgery by using electricity in laundry irons, washing machines, ditch diggers, and other labor-saving devices. Lady Liberty's reflection in the sound sometimes smiles at her, perhaps in appreciation of Harry Alexander's dedication and success. A series of conferences followed the floodlighting of the Statue of Liberty, and electricity came into common use.

This consonant-digit-color correlation pattern is adapted from the book titled ‘Memory Dynamics: A Complete Memory System’, by William Fauver and Robert L. Birch, Knowledge Bank Publishers, Box 2364, Falls Church, Virginia 22042-0364. An earlier book, Phreno-Mnemotechny, was published by Wiley and Putnam in 1845, and described the original consonant correlation pattern but included nothing about the color codings.

That pattern will perhaps be even more meaningful if you refer to the apparently ancient pattern of sounds I discovered in the arrangement of the letters of the alphabet.  See ‘The "PERIODIC TABLE" OF THE ALPHABET’