|
The Speech Clinton Didn't Give
People of America....I banged her. I banged her like a cheap gong. Which
is not news, folks, because if you think Monica Lewinsky was the only skin
flute player in my orchestra, you haven't been paying attention. The only
babes in D.C. I haven't tried to do are the First Lady, Reno, Albright, and
Shalala, mostly because they're a little older than I like and they have legs
that former Houston Oiler Earl Campbell
would envy. Which isn't to say I don't appreciate Hillary...I do. If not
for the ice- water coursing through her veins, I'd be pumping gas into farm
equipment in Hope, Arkansas, and she'd be married to the President.
So, let me set the record straight. I dodged the draft,hid , smoked
dope, flipped Whitewater property, set up a new Korean wing n the White House,
fired the travel staff, paid hush money to Hubbell, sold the Lincoln bedroom
like an upscale Motel 6, and grabbed every ass that entered the Oval Office. Got
it? Good. Six years ago, there's not a man, woman, or child who didn't
know I was as horny as Woody Allen. But, you elected me anyway, which turned out
to be a good move on your part. Your other choice was Bush, an aging baseball
player and part-time resident of some place called Kennebunkport who thought he
could bomb his way into the White House. Before him, it was Reagan, who left the office with the
same Alzheimer's he came in with. There was Carter before him who brought
you a 17% prime interest rate,smiling the whole time like his lithium drip had
just kicked in.
Nixon before that coined, but never really understood, the concept of
plausible deniability, and almost got a one-way ticket to San Clemente
for his crackerjack style of gon was an inbred, power-mad war criminal whose
major contribution to American society was Agent Orange. And John Kennedy, who
was a little naughty himself, didn't hang around long enough for America to
spot that curious beaver-wrestling shared by at least a dozen former
residents of the White House.
Which brings me back to my point. Since I have been strumming the banjo
here at the White House, government is doing more for less. The budget is
balanced for the first time since JFK did a one gun salute to Marilyn, a fact the
press didn't seem to care about. Incidently, unemployment is so low today a
blind felon can get a job as a night-watchman. The stock market is higher
than a D- student on a full gram of dumb-dust, and anyone with a degree from a
junior college who can spell 'internet' has enough money to ponder the annual
maintenance cost of his boat, instead of where his or her next meal is
coming from.
Bottom line: I'm running a country here and I'm doing it with my pecker
showing. What I'm asking for is your support, not a date with your
daughter...unless, of course, she's a hotty with thin ankles,and then
I'd like to discuss it. In the meantime, think about where you are today and what
kind of life you're living before you get too interested in where I'm parking
the Presidential limousine.
Thank you, good night and God bless America.
from Gary G.
Commonwealth Network
Singles On-Line - A Worldwide Community of Singles! Members have Photo Albums, Voice Clips, Activity Groups, Calendar of Events, Interest Forums, and much more. Definitely the best on the net!
 
MacPromote
Xchange
Do you have any jokes you want to see here?
Send them to Charlotte.
Also be sure to visit Charlotte's Web before you leave.
Don't miss
Art Faux's Clinton Lewinsky Scandal Fine Art Gallery!
Links to other Clinton scandal sites.
|
