Duke of McCurry:
My Lord! I needs must speak with you most urgently!
The castle is assaulted on all sides!
Leer:
What would I not give for an hour's peace!
McCurry:
An army of reporters is settled at thy gate.
They are press in name and press in deed, for they press me daily,
nay, hourly for some explanation from thy lips.
Leer:
Who is there among them?
McCurry:
Lords Jennings, Brokaw, Rather, Geraldo of Rivera and a host of others.
Methinks I spied the van from Hard Copy.
Leer:
You cut me to the quick. Do they not know that I am chaste?
McCurry:
They insinuate that thou hast chased too often.
Leer:
Never have lies been so artfully stack'd against a pure soul.
Where is Lady Hillary?
McCurry:
Her secretary doth report that she is lock'd in her bath, saying over and over,
"Why can I not wash my hands of this guy?"
Leer:
Oh cursed fate! I must be the most solitary mortal in all creation.
Never have I betrayed m'lady's trust.
McCurry:
Whatever.
(Enter Messenger)
Messenger:
Good king, steel thy nerve.
I bring a missive from Kenneth of Starr, the Grand Inquisitor.
Leer:
Was ever a man as Starr-cross'd as I?
Why does this man conspire to afflict me thus?
My hand is unsteady. Read it to me.
Messenger:
Let me see.
He offers you his regards, blah, blah, blah, then doth subpoena you to
appear at his chamber at Friday next, to forswear again that thou
tookst no liberties with the wench Jones, who withdraweth not her claims against you.
Leer:
I have already so sworn!
McCurry:
It would seem, m'lord, that the woeful tale of Lady Willey rekindles old flames.
Leer:
I kiss'd the woman on the forehead, as a sign of my regard.
Never was a king so expos'd!
McCurry:
Truer words were ne'er spoken.
Leer:
I cannot think on't further. Leave me to my own counsel.
(Exeunt Messenger and McCurry)
Leer:
To be forthright, or not to be forthright, that is the question.
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of outrageous
fortune, or just bag the whole thing and teach law at a junior college.
(Enter Courtier)
Courtier:
My liege, you are late for an appointed meeting.
Leer:
What's this?
Courtier:
You were to interview a new assistant at the stroke of two.
She seems most capable, and with rare intellect for one so young and fair.
Leer:
Well, tell her I will see her anon, and on, and on.
Courtier:
A most clever jest, my king.
Leer:
Let us not tarry further.
(Exeunt Leer and courtier. Enter Buddy, from behind a chair)
Buddy:
So dearest reader, I bid adieu.
Me seeth I have much to do.
And so it comes to this pretty pass
To see if the king doth get some . . . class.
from Connie G.
