Here's the baby you weren't looking for, but got anyway:

I tried to warn you, but you probably didn't believe me, did you?  I didn't think so.  BORN FREE!!!!!!  SWING LOW.... SWEET CHARIOT!!!!  He's swingin' by golly!  He's doin' more then swingin'... that's not water he's walkin' in. 

I've had days like this.  Days where I just want to take off all my clothes, grab a bottle of beer, smoke a ciggarrette and walk on a checkerboard.  I know where this baby has been... the baby went from boppin' to da beat to this.

Being a baby isn't easy nowadays.  Being an adult isn't easy either.  Neither is being a kid.  You folks looking at this site are really getting your money's worth, aren't you?  I bet you didin't realize that you just learned something here.   No matter how you slice the zuchini... life isn't easy.  It's right here... in red and yellow.  Life is what you make of it.  I'm not going to explain what the baby's making of his life.... I think you can see it just as clearly as I can.

Get out of here you crazy kid.  There's nothing more depressing then a drunk baby.   Well I guess there is something more depressing then a drunk baby... a drunk baby with his winky floppin' around doing what babies do... and this baby's doing it all over the place.