SONGS FROM

His name is Zola, drinks diet cola
With all his letters colored green
he sits, types, and stares at the screen
And when boredom looms, he visits chat rooms
And though he's surfed around the world
He couldn't find himself a girl
He begs and whines and brags
Even tried to snog Rags
He has his job and his computer, but he still wanted more

At the Zen Room, Cosmo's Fac Zen Room
A funnier smell than EMonk's men's room
At the Zen Room, Cosmo's Fac Zen Room
Rocky and liquors and fishnets and knickers in the Zen Room...

I'm a twinkie girl, in a twinkie world
Creamy filling, it's so thrilling
Give my wrapper a tear, and eat me anywhere
Carbohydrates, monosodium glutamates
(Come on Twinkie, let's get kinky)
Ah ah ah yeah...

Airheads, airheads, silly-Lily airheads...
Airheads, airheads, eat them up, yum!
I took an airhead out to see the Zen Room
Didn't have to pay to get her in...
Airheads, airheads, silly-Lily airheads...
Airheads, airheads, eat them up, yum!
Ask an airhead anything you want to
She won't answer, she's so blonde...

Went away, went away
She's away, this Daisy Chain
I'm lonely, Zen Room's empty
And I know that Sue's to blame
Went away, went away
When will she come back again?
Went away, went away
She's away, this Daisy Chain

Darriever my wayward cat
Don't you think that you're all that...
Lay down here upon my lap
Don't you mew no more...

She sat in the chat room all day long
Typin' and a-gripin' and a-singin' her song
All the other weirdos in the Zen Room zoo
Love to hear the Robin goin' "pika pikachu"

Ragged Robin (tweet tweet tweet)...
Ragged Robin (tweet tweet tweet)...
Oh Ragged Robin well you're really gettin' raggy tonight!

Foxy Moxy
Sells it on the street
Foxy Moxy
The kind you shouldn't meet
Foxy Moxy
I don't believe you're telling the truth
No one could be that damned uncouth

Hey hey I'm the EMonk
People say I EMonk around
I'm not too busy chatting
To put ev'rybody down...

I'm not trying to be crazy
I come here just to snog and chat
I guess I'm pretty lazy
Screw you if you don't like that

Hey hey I'm the EMonk
You never know what I will sing
So, you'd better get ready
I could be saying anything!!

Plush sat alone next to my handle
It's yellow and it's shiny like a tiny candle
Why is it a flower and not a cricket
It's just waiting there so go ahead and click it
It's plush, it's plush, it's plush
It's on my screen...
It's plush, it's plush, it's plush
I want it green...

Last night I tried to grab your nipple
I thought I was Mister Whipple
C'mon... Please squeeze me, oh yeah, and I'll squeeze you

You won't have to worry 'bout my nipple
Sometimes EMonk squeezes it triple
C'mon... Please squeeze me, oh yeah, and I'll squeeze you

I don't wanna start demandin'
But I wanna feel your hand on my chest (on my chest)
I do all the squeezin' with you, it's so hard to reason
With you, oh yeah, don't make me black and blue

Last night I tried to grab your nipple
And coat it with choc'late ripple
C'mon... Please squeeze me, oh yeah, and I'll squeeze you

Stopped in the Zen Room, sometime on a Thursday night
Just to check out the late night visitors
Met a great guy, a super guy with a comfy lap
He got me purring and I couldn't stop
I laid there and talked to him
Learned a bit about him
And he learned about me
I'd say right away we hit it off
He gave me some cookies, catnip cookies, and catnip tea
We dined together, and he made me feel ... special
And right now I'm...

Taking a nap, on my lovely Zorna's lap
Well I'm taking a nap on my Zorna's lap

So I'm lying here, just staring up at my secret love
And I'm thinking about how great he is
Just listening and relistening to his sweet words
And I'm wondering if this is some kind of dream or reality
And I'm...

Taking a nap, on my lovely Zorna's lap
Well I'm taking a nap on my Zorna's lap

And if you wanna find me, I'll be here on Zorna's lap
Content or sniffling over my day
I know Zorna will listen, and make it ok
I'm happier with every gentle pat

We're not going ta Vegas
No, We ain't going ta Vegas
We're not going ta Vegas, for the con...

Early one morning and I was gigglin'
We was layin' in bed
Tickling Elmo tickling me
My blue fur rubs his red
And then I had to get up and leave him
He never said a word
I never did trust his color of rust
Snuck back, caught him sleeping with Big Bird
And I was standing staring in the window
No sunny day for you!
Air is sweet walking down the street
Brought by the number two
What do I do?
Muppet Emma Blue

Her name was Lola, loved Gorgonzola
She would eat it anywhere, she sprayed Cheez Whiz in her hair
She prayed to Buddha while eating Gouda
But though her boyfriend tried to please, all she wanted was her cheese
She loved Swiss and Cheddar, Havarti was better
She got her calcium and protein, really filled out a sweater!

At the Deli, Dots' Cheesy Deli
No limburger there, it's too smelly
At the Deli, Dots' Cheesy Deli
Cubes from the dairy always made her merry at the deli...

Wasn't too long ago, maybe in September
When that vodka used to make me smile
And I knew if I got my drink
That I would no longer need to think
And maybe I'd be happy for a while
But October, went to Vegas
At RockyCon I joined in the fracas
Fell down on the doorstep
I couldn't take one more sip
I can't remember if I hurled
When I rode around the spinning world
But the next morning as I twirled
I prayed that I would die

So bye, bye Miss Darcy, Cutie Pi
Took some sake down to Rocky, now you're high as the sky
But getting drunk with that funky EMonk
Hungover, wishing just just to curl up and die
Wishing just just to curl up and die

In the Zen, in the Zen
In the Zen, in the Zen
In the Zen, in the Zen
In the Zen, Zen Room

There's a user who tells us what to do
She's the theater director
She runs every scene, dresses us all in green
We are all astreua's servants

Rags Doll, livin' in the Zen Room
Hot chick, trip her and it's your doom
Gets mad, here comes the big boom
She'll kick you out back door, man

Hot 'tude, get to take it easy
Don't mind, when things get to sleazy
Rags doll, baby won't you join me
Behind the closet door...

Sittin' in the chatroom thinkin' it's a drag
Waiting there for someone else -- just ain't my bag
When I'm getting bored you know what I'll do
Gonna light up a doobie or two

Smokin' in the Zen Room
Smokin' in the Zen Room
Cosmo, don't you try to give me some fine
Cuz everybody knows that smoking ain't allowed on-line...

Checkin' out the room before we do what we please
Lookin' on the screen -- nah, there ain't no IPs
My buddies Chef, Quad, and Nat
To get away with it would be real phuckin' phat

Smokin' in the Zen Room
Smokin' in the Zen Room
Cosmo, don't you try to give me some fine
Cuz everybody knows that smoking ain't allowed on-line...

In my Netscape under Windows
Down in the Zen Room at Cosmo's
With the Monk's song selection
And the sequins reflection
I'm a-dancing with my Nell
Oh, when there's no one else logged on
Even Evil Dots is gone
I jump on the bar with my sweet sensation
And I'm dancing with my Nell

Oh, oh, oh dancing with my Nell
Oh, oh, oh dancing with my Nell
We've got plenty to zoom
Swinging 'cross the Zen Room
And I'm dancing with my Nell
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

If I danced all over the net
Through the Jacuzzi and got wet
But no partner would keep up like she could
So I'll be dancing with my Nell
So let's take a break to drink
Dance through the shower cuz we stink
When I have a chance, I ask her to dance
And I'll be dancing with my Nell

Oh, oh, oh dancing with my Nell
Oh, oh, oh dancing with my Nell
We've got plenty to zoom
Swinging 'cross the Zen Room
And I'm dancing with my Nell
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

If I danced all over the net
Through the Jacuzzi and got wet
But no partner would keep up like she could
So I'll be dancing with my Nell
So let's take a break to drink
Dance through the shower cuz we stink
When I have a chance, I ask her to dance
And I'll be dancing with my Nell

Oh, oh, oh dancing with my Nell
Oh, oh, oh dancing with my Nell
When I have a chance, I ask her to dance
When I have a chance, I ask her to dance
When I have a chance, I ask her to dance

Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh, oh...
Oh, oh, oh, oh...

When I was younger, just a dumb little kid
People noticed freaky things I did
Like whistling "Dixie" with a mouth fulla spam
I'd collect nekkid pictures of Marv Albert's hand
I'd cook some food and eat the plates instead
That's when my fatha said
(What did he say?)
He said, "Oh God, I think some day
I'll make you pay
'Cause yer the reason why women turn gay

'Cause, you are a Weirdwolf
You have a talent fer making no sense
Son, yer a Weirdwolf
And this song really sucks, no offense
You love to shave your tongue
And tests prove yer out of a brain
'Cause, you are a Weirdwolf
And yer insane

(SPOKEN: Here he is girls, the leader of the freaks
He's still a virgin. Oh my god!
Who wants to go to bed with someone who rolls over and speaks
Check out these lyrics, they're just so dumb.)

Oh, shut up! Stand aside! I'm not done!
I am the Weirdwolf
(He's just crazy)
And, I enjoy all the laughs that I get
I am the Weirdwolf
I log on when the sun has set
(He's really lazy)

When I start cracking some jokes
You'll all have passed on from having strokes (Weirdwolf!)
And though it may cause me distress (Distress!)
Somewhere in Heaven above me
I know, I know that God really hates me!
Oh, Shit!
'Cause I am the Weirdwolf
And a success!

Say, "Hoo" (Hoo)
Say, "Pla" (Pla)
Hoopla!

Tip-toe to Las Vegas
Losing my wages
That is where I'll be
Come tip-toe, oh my 2Lips, with me

Tip-toe from your pre-show
Of "Inferno"
Which was cool, really
And tip-toe, oh my 2Lips, with me

Outside the ballroom we'll stray
Later we'll all zoom away

And if I kiss you
By the fire
In the stairwell
Will you pardon me?
Come tip-toe, oh my 2Lips, with me

Give baby give
Now that the night is on us
I'm gonna do Alsatian
Give him an offer
Impossible to refuse

Sleep babe with me
Until the night is over
And you will come like a god
Into my arms
All positions compromising

Gotta hold on you
And do Alsatian
And do Alsatian
Right now
Gonna roll you over
And do Alsatian
And do Alsatian

Scream baby scream
Got you coming and going
And you will get it
In the end
There really is
There really is no difference

Cry baby cry
When you've got to get it in
I'll bite your shoulder
You can be my all
Just keep it in ya
Well that's the reason why I'm here

Are you ready
I will do Alsatian
I'll do Alsatian
Right now
Gonna take you and I'll do Alsatian
I'll do Alsatian

Late baby late
When there's nothing left of you
You're only human
What can you do
It'll soon be morning
Don't let your pain take over you

Love baby love
It's dripping all over your face
There's nothing better we could do
Than screw forever
Well that's all we've got to do

Hey now I'm gonna go and do Alsatian
and do Alsatian

Dark in the Zen Room, no one around
Calling for someone, none to be found
Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do
If'n you want me, give me a sign
And catch my dancing, watch my writhing behind
Do do do do do do do do do do do do do do

Touching with my hand...
I'm eating Spam and sniffing glue
Still a virgin, I've got big urgin'
And I'm horny like WeirdWolf
Standing in line and drinking cheap wine
I'm eating Spam and sniffing glue
Feeling alive with Rosy Palm's five
And I'm horny like WeirdWolf

From the day she was bald
She was something
She played Space Riff
Not Ralph Hapschatt's bride
Dressed in lamé
And she realized that Sue was to blame
She left stage when Frankie died

After she gave up booze
All she wanted
Was Ritz head tattoos
And Barry Bostwick
She heard a clunk
In her broken-down cheap piece of junk
Taking her long Las Vegas ride

When Freddy said she was dressed like Dead Eddie
You knew she was way psycho cool
But when she said she was pals with the great Weird Al
What a girl!
Makes you hurl!
Made me drool!

Everybody loved her
Some called Fred their mother
I said, Fred, to you from me
An iron-on of Stan and Wendy
But at DenverCon she won't be there to see...

But she must have felt bad
About something
That's why she had
Sent me e-mail that reads...
What's it say? Is it long?

"EMonk, you're a freak
Your singing makes me sick and weak
You'd better not write me some stupid song!"

When Freddy said she was dressed like Dead Eddie
You knew she was way psycho cool
But when she said she was pals with the great Weird Al
What a girl!
Makes you hurl!
Made me drool!

When Freddy said she was dressed like Dead Eddie
You knew she was way psycho cool
But when she said she was pals with the great Weird Al
What a girl!
Makes you hurl!
Made me drool!

Freddy...

Who's playing in the back of the Zen Room
Calling her name, it's lighter than air
Who's bending down to capture a Wierdwolf
Everyone knows it's Lilith

Who's tripping down the streets of the Zen Room
Snogging with everybody she sees
Who's reaching out to snuggle a Weirdwolf
Everyone knows it's Lilith

And Lilith has big, green eyes
That clash with the sound of lies
And Lilith has voice to sing
Sing it loud, sing it proud

Who's tripping down the streets of the Zen Room
Snogging with everybody she sees
Who's reaching out to snuggle a Weirdwolf
Everyone knows it's Lilith

Well, first you go squish squish squish
Then you go swish swish swish
Then you make a big wish wish wish
Not to end up in an Italian dish dish dish
And as you swish swish swish
You wiggle and giggle and make an inky mess
As you squish squish squish in your squiddy black dress

That spectacular, aquatical-er, tenticular...
Squiddy black dress!

I met her in a room down in Cosmo's Fac
We played in the pool and we shouted back
"Marco Polo!"
P-O-L-O, Polo...

Saw this pretty girl coming in for some Zen
I asked, "Baby where?" and she said, "Right here, when?"
She was Lolo
L-O-L-O, Lolo
Lo-Lo-Lo-Lolo...

Didn't know what time it was the lights were low
I clicked on my mouse control
Some cats were writing down some rock and roll
In the Zen Room
Then the screen began to fade
A name showed up like a wave of faith
That was no lady
That hazy cosmic name

[CHORUS]
There's a Starwoman
Waiting in the night
She'd like to come and meet us
But she thinks she'd blow our minds
There's a Starwoman
Waiting in the night
She's told us not to blow it
Cause she knows it's all worth while she told us
Let the Zen Room greet her
Let the children meet her
And all the people see her

She had to greet someone so she picked on you
Hey that's far out, so you've met her too
Go to the Zen Room
She'll show up on you're screen too
Look out you're window you can see her lights
If she can sparkle you may see her tonight
Don't tell the others or they'll end up insane with fright

[CHORUS x 2]

There she was just a-walkin' in the door
She was Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat
Lickin' her whiskers and crossin' the floor
She was Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat
She looked good (looked good)
She looked nice (looked nice)
She looked good, she looked nice
Sitting pretty, eating mice

Before I knew it she was sittin' on my lap
She was Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat
Scratchin' my legs just before she took a nap
She was Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat
She licked me (licked me)
I pet her (pet her)
She licked me, I pet her
Then she gave a little purr

Whoa-oh-oh, I knew she was falling asleep
Yes I did, and so I gave her 9-Lives tuna
And a collar to keep

Now we're in the Zen Room nearly every single day
She was Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat
I am her human and that how I'm gonna stay
She was Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat
Well I'm hers (I'm hers)
She's mine (she's mine)
I'm hers, she's mine
And we chat all day on-line

She was Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat
Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat
Darrie Kitty Darriever Kitty Cat

I'm a coma girl, in a coma world
Hibernating, brain is vegetating
You can brush my hair
I can't tell you are there
In stagnation, mind is on vacation

(Amy Rules!)
(Amy Rules!)
Amy has a really pretty smile
And when you look at it, it'll enchant you for awhile
As far as I'm concerned, she's an angel from the sky
Come to take me away and make me her guy
Come to take me away and make me her guy!

Who is she? How did we meet?
She's a goddess who swept me off of my feet!
If she likes Meat Loaf, I don't really know
But we both really like Rocky Horror Picture Show
Yes, we both really like Rocky Horror Picture Show!

Pete sat alone in the zen room
Twiddling his thumbs and whistling a tune
Along came Lily who said "'ello"
His color is blue it is not yellow

It's Pete
It's Pete
A crazy guy
It's Pete
It's Pete
It's Pete
He might be bi

Pete is a hardcore Rocky fan
In just seven days we can make him a man
He likes to go to the RHPS
He works at the theatre and cleans up the mess

It's Pete
It's Pete
He's hardly rude
It's Pete
It's Pete
It's Pete
A wacky dude

Is that Pete out of the room?
I don't know
Is that Pete out of the room?
I don't know
Is that Pete out of the room?
I don't know
Is that Pete out of the room?
He said *poof*

I should have known it from the very start
This girl would grab me and then steal my heart
Now listen people what I'm telling you
Keep away from my Lil Bunni Foo
I kiss her lips and I gaze at her face
I am consumed here in this girl's warm embrace
So if you don't want me beating you
Keep away from my Lil Bunni Foo

Ah, my life without her is hell
She'll love me in the back stairwell
Now let me tell you something guys
Foo's an angel in disguise
Here's the moral of my story, don't stare at my nose
I'm at Steak and Shake kissing her toes
Ask any time what you oughta do
I'll say keep away from my Lil Bunni Foo

Ah, my life without her is hell
She'll love me in the back stairwell
Now let me tell you something guys
Foo's an angel in disguise
Here's the moral of my story, don't stare at my nose
I'm at Steak and Shake kissing her toes
Ask any time what you oughta do
I'll say keep away from my Lil Bunni Foo

I'm dreaming of the Quad Princess
With her whoop ass and bammm and smile
Where her tight top's golden
And we're beholdin'
Her running up and down the aisle

I'm dreaming of the Quad Princess
Even though she may think I'm odd...
May her next Con not be her last
And may all her costumes be half-assed

Chryssy Kitten enters the Zen Room
And you know that my heart goes ba-boom
Ka-pow, like wow
How you feeling, what you coming for
You know that you don't have to look no more
For he, it's me

Saskachewan
How much for a flight
I need my Mrs. Right
You'll be with me tonight

Babe, you know you're coming up so fast
Please stop worrying that we won't last
Too long, you're wrong
Chryssy Kitten there's so much in life
And I'd give all if only my wife
was you, it's true
I do, yeah...

Saskachewan
How much for a flight
I need you in my sight
Tonight and every night
Saskachewan
How much for a flight
I need my Mrs. Right
You'll be with me tonight

Chryssy Kitten enters the Zen Room
And you know that my heart goes ba-boom
Ka-pow, like wow
But you're too far gone
Yeah, Saskachewan...

Gold bikini over cotton briefs
Opens some Whoop Ass when she's got a beef
All her buddies know she's doing alright
She's at Rocky Horror, Saturday midnight

Quad Princess, how come you look so good?
Quad Princess, just like a diva should

Runs singing out "Sword of Damocles"
Doctor Frank Furter is crawlin' round upon his knees
Crowd all knows that she's doing alright
You shoulda heard them cheering at midnight

Quad Princess, how come you look so good?
Quad Princess, just like a diva should

Quad Princess, how come you look so good?
Quad Princess, just like a diva should

I heard your momma was a real bitch
You moved to New York to strike it rich
We all miss you and your PVC tights
But I can find you on Saturday nights

Quad Princess, how come you look so good?
Quad Princess, just like a diva should

Oh you pretty Bunni Foo Foo
Little Bunni Foo Foo
I love you
And, my
Pretty Bunni Foo Foo
Little Bunni Foo Foo
Loves me too

I know everywhere I go on Bunni Foo Foo I'll depend
Yoohoo, Little Bunni Foo Foo
Won't you be my girlfriend?
Woohoo, Little Bunni Foo Foo
Stay with me till the end...

The best things in life are free
But I would rather have the birds and bees

CHORUS:
With Purple Bunny (That's who I want)
That's who I want (That's who I want)
That's who I want, yeah
That's who I want

Bunnies don't have everything it's true
What they have what I must use

[CHORUS]

The Purple Bunny (That's who I want)
My Purple Bunny (That's who I want)

[CHORUS]

Your lovin' makes my heart boom
The best lovin' in the Zen Room

[CHORUS]

Bunnies don't have everything it's true
What they have what I must use

[CHORUS]

The Purple Bunny (That's who I want)
My Purple Bunny (That's who I want)

[CHORUS]

Amy the Bi Bi Goddess
Always loved to swing both ways
And if you went out with her
You'd be making love for days
All of the other Zenners
Used to laugh and call her "ho"
They never let her join them
At the Rocky Horror Show
Then one happy Halloween
Weirdwolf came to say
"Amy, with your heart so wide
Won't you come and be my bride?"
Now all the Zenners love her
As they sing at her wedding
"Amy the Bi Bi Goddess
How we envy your bedding!"

Midnight someone's knocking on my front door
Says their house, well it ain't there no more
I said yeah, well, what am I supposed to do
I didn't know that he'd be getting me too

Now we've got a little trouble in town
Now he's burning our buildings down
Stop DragonPunk
Stop DragonPunk
He's burnin' the Zen Room down!

We tried to find Raincloud and Moxy
But they couldn't put that dragon out
Then DragonPunk he ate up Nat and Roxy
Princess Schnikki thought she heard Laurie shout

I tried to find a virgin to sacrifice
I couldn't find one though I looked twice

Baby, you had better look for old Cosmo
Yeah or else his factory's gonna go
Stop DragonPunk
Stop DragonPunk
He's burnin' the Zen Room down!

There's Petey looking for his SamKitty
And the Weirdwolf's covered with Ash
There's Jannet in a real pickle
Dragon burned her knickers in a flash

I think we really have to all say goodbye
I think it really is the end of the world

Everybody's irking Larry Viezel
Everybody's throwing him a curve, whoa
Everybody's putting this guy through hell
Everybody's plucking his last nerve, yeah

You wanna piss Larry off?
Make faces at him and cough
You wanna mess up his show?
Just talk about his S.O.!

Jester hey
I know you wanted a new song today
But I don't know just what I can say
I don't believe it's Jester's day

Certainly
I sometimes compose spontaneously
Other times you have to inspire me
You'll get a song, just wait and see

Why he had to beg
I'll pull his leg
and write this song
One verse then I'll choke
it's a joke
and getting long

Yesterday
A parody was an easy thing to make
now they know that I am just a fake
Cuz I let down Jester today
hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmmm hmm hmmmmmm

Cheer up, Little Foo Foo, Cheer up!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo, Cheer up!

I know you're feelin' down
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo, don't frown
Don't be so bitter, I'm no quitter
And I'm your crazy clown
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!

Well what are they going to tell your Nikki
When she asks why you're feelin' icky
Why don't you come on with me and we'll get sticky
Oh-la-la!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!

Well you told the Zen Room that you'd become a saint
You think that's the answer but I say it ain't
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!
'Cause I'm here with you!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo, Cheer up!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo, Cheer up!

Let me kiss your little nose
As I'm holding you warm and close
You'll fall asleep, your love I'll keep
Don't tell me your heart has froze
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!

Well what are they going to tell your Nikki
When she asks why you're feelin' icky
Why don't you come on with me and we'll get sticky
Oh-la-la!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!
Cheer up, Little Foo Foo!

EMonk
You wrote a song again
So I'll wait here inside
The Zen Room
Where you keep me waiting for a long time
Soon you'll come around and let us know it's time
For us all to check out the page
Soon you'll come around and let us know it's time
To read it
You and I will sing along...

EMonk, we know
That the song is gonna rock
EMonk, we know
That you'll somehow please us
EMonk, we know
That we're gonna love the song
EMonk, we know...

EMonk-everyone wants a song
They beg to you on knees
Of hope
You agree and rack your brains for hours
Soon you'll come around and let us know it's done
It's ready
Soon you'll come around and let us know it's time
To read it
You and I will sing along...

EMonk, we know
That you're a genius inside
EMonk, we know
That you'll always please us
EMonk, we know
That each smile will make us smile
EMonk, we know
That we'll make it up to you

You wrote a another song
So I'll wait here inside
In the Zen
Soon you'll come around and let us know it's time
And we'll make it up to you...

EMonk
I can't see the songs
because AOL is a stupid BITCH!

Never gonna stop, give it up
And my mighty dick, I always get it up
From the touch of my blue-ish chick
My, my, my, my, my woo!
My Demona

Here she comes, here comes Quad Princess
She's a demon on booze
She's a demon and she's gonna be opening some Whoop Ass

She's hangin' with you
So you better be her friend
She's dancin' shakin' up
Her powerful rear end

And when the Quad is against you
Here's the bottom line:
You'd better kiss your sweet ass
And say goodbye!

Go, Quad Princess
Go, Quad Princess
Go, Quad Princess, GO!

She's off and flyin'
As she's runnin' up and down the aisle
She's wearin' gold lame
Bikini and her famous smile
And Frank is waiting just ahead!

Go, Quad Princess
Go, Quad Princess
Go, Quad Princess, GO!

She hung around in Cosmo's room of Zen
Getting her blood quick and often
The best part of sucking from Zen Room thugs
Is that all their blood is full of booze and drugs
Hidey hidey hidey hidey hidey hidey hi (Hidey hidey hidey hidey hidey hidey hi)
Hodey hodey hodey hodey hodey hodey ho (Hodey hodey hodey hodey hodey hodey ho)
Scoodley-boo scoodley-boo scoodley-boodley-boodley-boo (Scoodley-boo scoodley-boo scoodley-boodley-boodley-boo)
Poor Nat, poor Nat, poor Nat...

Krissy the Spider Killer
Loved to stomp them in the turf
He had to go kill spiders
'Cause she had run out of smurfs
All of the other Zenners
Used to follow her real close
They let her do the killing
'Cause they all found spiders gross
Then one sleepy Monday morn Cosmo came to say
"Krissy, with your evil grins
Won't you kill those damned penguins?"
Now the Zen Room is happy
'Cause their place is vermin-free
Krissy the Spider Killer
I'm begging you just don't kill me!

Well, since my Quad Princess opened
A Whoop Ass can from Hell
Now, I'm down at the end of Jabroni Drive
The Smackdown Hotel
Where it is, it's such a bummer, baby
I got a stunner, I got a stunner and could die

And there are lots of people
That came here to their doom
They broke their word and then they heard
Quad lower the boom
She'll tell you suck it, baby
Get ready to suck it
Or kick the bucket, and just die

Now her boss's tears keep flowin'
And her ex-friend's dressed in black
Well, they got such a major smackdown
They'll never, never talk back
You'd better shut your hole, baby
Well, just shut your hole
Well, just know your role, or you'll die

If Quad Princess grabs you
And says she has things to tell
You'll join me down Jabroni Drive
The Smackdown Hotel, oh baby
Where it is, it's such a bummer, baby
You'll get a stunner, you'll get a stunner and could die

And there are lots of people
That came here to their doom
They broke their word and then they heard
Quad lower the boom
She'll tell you suck it, baby
Get ready to suck it
Or kick the bucket, and just die

Finally found my on-line place to unwind
Partying 'til I'm out of my head
Livin' life with a boom, laughin' in the Zen Room
Chuggin' lots of EMonk's drinks and chattin' with Fred

For I'd searched for another home
Where people love Little Nell
There's Magentas, elephantas (colored bright pink)
At that internet location in which I dwell

Amber Ghur's in paradise
Everybody here is so nice
And ol' Prince Zola took care of his lice
You see that Amber Ghur's in paradise

Heard about that old place, Cosmo's Fac
Where all the freaks hang out and run wild
Nations and Quad, and Larry is quite odd
Everyone will love me as long as my modem's dialed

Times've changed on the net these days
With spam and porn it's becoming hell
But's Magentas, elephantas (colored bright pink)
Are waiting for me at that room in which I dwell

Amber Ghur's in paradise
Everybody here is so nice
And ol' Prince Zola took care of his lice
You see that Amber Ghur's in paradise

I like the jacuzzi where Amy and I 69
Richard watches all night
Jannet and pickle always love a tickle
And then we all love a great big pudding fight

Amber Ghur's in paradise
Everybody here is so nice
And ol' Prince Zola took care of his lice
You see that Amber Ghur's in paradise

Black and blue-ish TimChet walks into the room
Looks like he's been beaten with a broom
He's real tired but he don't care
His butt's too sore to be usin' a chair

TimChet's butt, it's E.T.'s playground
Oh, turn and bend him over, anal probes are found
Gets abducted by aliens every night
Starts to enjoy it, that just ain't right

"E-YOW! Hey, don't touch my ass!"

Tim don't bother putting up a fight, oh-no
He's walking all alone, looks and sees a light
Yellin' to the spaceship that it just ain't right
Singin' the blues while the aliens probe
Poor TimChet now you gotta disrobe
I wish that they would just leave him alone
If I give them a quarter, can't they just phone home?

You're logging on, you don't leave home
Your mind is on the phone
Your eyes burn, Your fingers ache
Just one more point you want to make

You can't leave, say 'bye' then
You get dragged back in again
You're handle's white, easy to read
Another plush is all you need

Oh, you like to think that chat is only a fad, whoa yeah
It's closer to the truth to say that you are hooked bad
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're a addicted to Zen

You see the songs, you want one too
The photo album has shots of you
You hit "Refresh" one more time
All that you need's another line, a T-1 line

You can't be saved
Some Rocky talk is all you crave
Every day you come back
Crawl into Cosmo's Fac

Oh, you like to think that chat is only a fad, whoa yeah
It's closer to the truth to say that you are hooked bad
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're a addicted to Zen

Might as well you're a addicted to Zen
Might as well you're a addicted to Zen
Might as well you're a addicted to Zen
Might as well you're a addicted to Zen
Might as well you're a addicted to Zen

You're logging on, you don't leave home
Your mind is on the phone
Your eyes burn, Your fingers ache
Just one more point you want to make

Oh, you like to think that chat is only a fad, whoa yeah
It's closer to the truth to say that you are hooked bad
You know you're gonna have to face it, you're a addicted to Zen

Might as well you're a addicted to Zen
Might as well you're a addicted to Zen
Might as well you're a addicted to Zen
Might as well you're a addicted to Zen
Might as well you're a addicted to Zen

Goin' to the Zen Room, gonna leave my cares behind
I like Cosmo's Factory, It's in Cosmo's Factory
Goin' to the Zen Room, gonna to try to clear my mind
People logged on day and night, it is seldom ever boring
Goin' to the Zen Room, gonna see who I can find
mmm mmm mmmph mmph mmm mm mmmmph mmmphph *
Goin' to the Zen Room, gonna chat with freinds of mine

* [No one understands Kenny, he talks in black text]

Bald men are phat, so says the Ratt
Like Zen Room P.M. Richard or Jester
Ritz O'Brien, got me sighin'
Except for Elmer Fudd or Uncle Fester

If you're bald, then hey, I love you!
If you're bald, come see how much I care
If you're bald, then hey, I love you!
And I want to see you in that dress right there

No golden locks, no hairy jocks
I'd rather have Doctor Evil than Bond, James Bond
No shaven girls, or Jeri curls
Get rid of those red hairs or black or brown or blond

If you're bald, then hey, I love you!
If you're bald, come see how much I care
If you're bald, then hey, I love you!
And I want to see you in that dress right there

Blosm!
She lives is Austin, Texas
Hubba!
Attractive to both sexes
Watch yourself
Or she will give you hexes
BlosmTex makes my day!

A good time, chatting in the Zen Room...
When she leaves it's a crime, our hearts all go boom...
A good time, chatting in the Zen Room...
When she leaves it's a crime, our hearts all go boom...
BlosmTex!!

I'm not a homophobe fearing the sight of a penis
I've had this big guy for too many years
But we all went to war
With Monk's sword and Zola's stealth
Went that penis tried to ream us
Up our rears

But if you open your legs to this huge penetrator
He'll burst you like a cheap balloon
He'll kill everyone here sooner or later
It'll shake ya the way he snakes all the Zen Room

We need to fight this, ooooh Cock Creature
Now he's charging after poor Miss Brier
We need to fight this, ooooh Cock Creature
And Chryssy-Kitten, better wear your rubber mittens
Or that dick is gonna spoogify ya!

They're blinded by blood and they're blinded by semen
Poor EMonk has both feet in the grave
But then he got smitten with help from the Kitten
While Zola drank some cola, oh how brave

We need to fight this, ooooh Cock Creature
He's surrounded by Kitten and Brier
We need to fight this, ooooh Cock Creature
Zola and Lily think that this is getting silly
Into vacuum the penis is fired... fired... Fired!

Jester, Jester
Looks like Uncle Fester
Or sometimes Gold Dust, he's OK

Jester, Jester
like that evil Bester
He's often uncouth
But likes vermouth
It's Jester, Jester's wanking day!

Fred was Completely Crazy
Had a very shiny head
Shaved it when she was Meph Smith
Grew it back to be dead Ed
All of the folks in Denver
Gaped to see her play Macy
Next thing you know she'll be in
Something feminine/lacy
Then one shitty MayDay eve
The theater came to say
"Freddie take your cast and go
"Lose the stage and weights and so..."
Now all her friends are homeless
As they face the sky and cry
"Rocky's gone from Chicago
Let's watch that manager die!"

Ever since he was a little boy
Dressing up has always been Glenn's greatest joy
But when its Scottish to the hilt
And his thighs are quite well built
Its the strapless, pantsless, panty-less little plaid kilt

Well, first you go creep creep creep
Into your keep keep keep
Then get your kilt cheap cheap cheap
Wrap it up real deep deep deep
Then go get some sheep sheep sheep
You hug 'er and bugger that ewe feeling no guilt
Then you go sleep sleep sleep in your little plaid kilt

Ever since he played the ExtonEddie part
It was the tartan cloth that smothered up his farts
And at Ren Faires he plays
With Ryo on his face
In his red and brown, wraparound, Scottish gown
Dressed up like Braveheart

Well, first you go creep creep creep
Into your keep keep keep
Then get your kilt cheap cheap cheap
Wrap it up real deep deep deep
Then go get some sheep sheep sheep
You hug 'er and bugger that ewe feeling no guilt
Then you go sleep sleep sleep in your little plaid kilt

Let's face it Jock, my great huge cock, beats the beast o'Loch!
Let's face it Jock, my great huge cock, beats the beast o'Loch!
Let's face it Jock, my great huge cock, beats the beast o'Loch!
Take a gander (a gander)
At my candor (my candor)
A real Highlander
In my little plaid kilt!

I'm a Trannie
Such a Trannie
And I'm happy
To be what I am
With my fishnets
And my platform shoes
I feel just fine

I wear makeup
Lots of makeup
That I feel like I'm going on stage
But I really
Don't care about what people say about me

As I strut my stuff when I'm clubbing
People often stop and just stare
At my platform shoes
And my made up face
They stop are stare
At meeee

Some people say
That I've no taste
I'm a weirdo
And highly insane
But I laugh
And I go on my trannie way!

Frankie's my boyfriend
Ever since I made that delivery
But now I gotta give him a big piece of my mind
Frankie's got himself a girl
And I want to make her mine

And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him in those Mouse ears, I just know it
Yeah and he's snogging her in his lab late, late at night

You know, I wish that I had Frankie's girl
I wish that I had Frankie's girl
Where can I find a groupie like that?

I play along with Frankie's game
He doesn't seem to notice that things have changed
You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute
I hide and watch them from the freezer
And they haven't got a clue

'Cuz she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him in those Mouse ears, I just know it
And he's snogging her in his lab late, late at night

You know, I wish that I had Frankie's girl
I wish that I had Frankie's girl
Where can I find a groupie like that?
Like Frankie's girl
I wish that I had Frankie's girl
Where can I find a groupie
Where can I find a groupie like that?

Next she's hangin' with that domestic dyke
Doing it with everyone but me
Big and hairy, I've got a bitchin' bike
Ain't that the way love's supposed to be?

Tell me, where can I find a groupie like that?

You know, I wish that I had Frankie's girl
I wish that I had Frankie's girl
I want Frankie's girl
Where can I find a groupie like that
Like Frankie's girl
I wish that I had Frankie's girl
I want, I want Frankie's girl

You know I know I hold your breasts for you
But let me tell you something, Brier
Now I want the rest of you
Girl, it's time to get much higher

Come on, be my baby, Brier
Come on, be my baby, Brier
Let me set your night on fire

The time to hesitate is through
Leave Zola behind in the mire
You know I'm the one for you
As we love across our modem wires

Come on, be my baby, Brier
Come on, be my baby, Brier
Let me set your night on fire, yeah

The time to hesitate is through
Leave Zola behind in the mire
You know I'm the one for you
As we love across our modem wires

Come on, be my baby, Brier
Come on, be my baby, Brier
Let me set your night on fire, yeah

You know I know I hold your breasts for you
But let me tell you something, Brier
Now I want the rest of you
Girl, it's time to get much higher

Come on, be my baby, Brier
Come on, be my baby, Brier
Let me set your night on fire
Let me set your night on fire
Let me set your night on fire
Let me set your night on fire

Eddie was an edible rocker
Riff and Mags moved on to Shocker
He's a Trannie, kick some ass!
Doctor Furter has no class!!
Groupie Columbia set the pace
Way back then she had the face

That's all in the past
Orgies made to last
But he's built someone new
A well-muscled hunk
Made of earthen junk
And he knows just who to do...

Cos the Trannie's name is Frank
He's a vixen, not a tramp
He's a beep beep beep beep beep beep BEEP!!
Brad an', Janet take your beds
Cuz you ain't seen nothin' yet
He's the top of the top
He's the best
YES!!!

Frank and Rocky, horny love
Riff Raff sings to the moon above
Virgins used to be so clean
'Til Frank showed them he was queen.

That's all in the past
Orgies made to last
But he's built someone new
A well-muscled hunk
Made of earthen junk
And he knows just who to do...

Cos the Trannie's name is Frank
He's a vixen, not a tramp
He's a beep beep beep beep beep beep BEEP!!
Brad an', Janet take your beds
Cuz you ain't seen nothin' yet
He's the top of the top
He's the best
YES!!!

Frank did Rocky, Janet and Brad
Columbia, Riff and Mags he had
They're the cast list ready to go
Asshole and sluts won't you please take your seats
And we hope that you enjoy the SHO-O-O-O-OW

[Janet giggles]
[Frank: "Thank you very much."]

Don't you love my Chryssy
Want to give her kissies
Don't you love C.K.
Tell her she's O.K.
Don't you love my Chryssy
Want to give her kissies
Don't you love C.K.
Don't you love her out there in Saskatchewan
Love her and the plane she rode in on
Don't you love C.K.
Tell her she's O.K.
Don't you love her out there in Saskatchewan

Oh, my love
Oh, my love
Oh, my love
Oh, my love
Oh, my love's out there
I wish that she were here
Right here in my arms
She'd be safe from harm
Happy, safe, and calm
Yeah, don't you love her
Don't you love her out there in Saskatchewan

Oh, my love
Oh, my love
Oh, my love
Yeah, oh, my love's out there
I wish that she were here
Right here in my arms
She'd be safe from harm
Happy, safe, and calm
Well, don't you love my Chryssy
Don't you love my Chryssy
Don't you love my Chryssy

You'd think that people would have seen enough of LilyStCyr
But I talk to Larry and I see it isn't so
Some people want to feel the bum of LilyStCyr
And what's wrong with that
We like her bum
'Cause here it comes
Again

I love it... I love it...
I can't explain
Her fanny's plain to me
Now can't you see
I love it...
Ah, I saw some more
She danced in the floor show
Now don't you know
What's wrong with that
I need to know
'Cause here I go again
I love it... I love it...

Without her bum I can't bear it
Seems like life isn't worth it all
I only know that when I'm near it
Gotta see Lily
I gotta see Lily
Gotta see LilyStCyr

How can I tell you about your loved buns?
How can I tell you about your loved buns?
I love it...
How can I tell you about your loved buns?
I love it...
How can I tell you about your loved buns?
I love it... I love it...
I can't explain
Her fanny's plain to me
Now can't you see
I love it...
Ah, I saw some more
She danced in the floor show
Now don't you know
I love it...
I can't explain
Her fanny's plain to me
Now can't you see
How can I tell you about your loved buns?
I love it...
Ah, I saw some more
She danced in the floor show
Now don't you know
How can I tell you about your loved buns?
I love it...
I can't explain
Her fanny's plain to me
Now can't you see
How can I tell you about your loved buns?
I love it...
Ah, I saw some more
She danced in the floor show
Now don't you know
How can I tell you about your loved buns?

You'd think that people would have seen enough of LilyStCyr
But I talk to Larry and I see it isn't so
Oh no
Some people want to feel the bum of LilyStCyr
And what's wrong with that

Follow her, let's follow her
She's my mistress, I've got my Nico crush
Collar her, let's collar her
She's my mistress, I've got my Nico crush
We are perverts, let's get down
We've had our fun and now its time to
Go to cons in Allentown (over me, get over me)
Coming up fast, over me

Just join my cult, what will you see?
Cult of Jester's Vanity
I know your weirdness, I know your memes
I've done every freak you want to see
I'm the Cult of Jester's Vanity
Like Frankenfurter does Sodomy
I'm the Cult of Jester's Vanity
Cult of Jester's Vanity
Cult of Jester's Vanity

With no hair, I need no dye
The tripper speaks, the drugs they lie
You don't have to massage me
Only you can set me free
I hide your glasses, you can't see
I'm the big bald face on Web T.V.
I'm the Cult of Jester's Vanity
I recruit you still you love me

I tell you 'bout the twenty three
I'm the Cult of Jester's Vanity
Like Kerry Thornley and Tim Leary!
I'm the Cult of Jester's Vanity
Cult of Jester's Vanity
Cult of Jester's Vanity

Eris loves fresh apple pies
Cult leader posts some silly lies
You don't have to follow me
Only Fnord can set you free

You gave me webspace
I picked my name
You me power in the Goddess' name
I'm every wiseass you need to be
I'm the Cult of Jester's Vanity

The drugs we take make us feel so alive
In our dark dysfunctional world it helps us thrive
It's cold and weird but still you don't need sorrow
Live today, no thought for tomorrow

We're all stars now in the Bob Show
We're all stars now in the Bob Show

There's a lot of Rocky Horror cons
That make you party hard
But nothing makes you harder than
The devil who is known as Bob

We're all stars now in the Bob Show
We're all stars now in the Bob Show

She loves you when you're under the covers
When you're done then she wants another

The drugs they say are made in California
Come take a ride
We'll really drown your sorrow
It's cold and weird but that is all outside
It's just today
Where will you find yourself tomorrow?

There's a lot of Rocky Horror cons
That make you party hard
But nothing makes you harder than
The devil who is known as Bob

She loves you when you're under the covers
If you're no good she'll get another

There's a lot of Rocky Horror cons
That make you party hard
But nothing makes you harder than
The devil who is known as Bob, she is Bob

We're all stars now in the Bob Show
We're all stars now in the Bob Show

The sick bitches stand before you
That what I said now
Bitches, bitches we adore you
You want some head now?
Quad has got an ass that's so nice
That's no fiction
Gilmer said once ain't enough do it twice
It's an addiction

Chryssy, her lingerie is reddish
Her hair is red too
Girlratt has got a crazy fetish
She'll shave your head too
You punish us, your servants will adore you
How 'bout that now
You punish us, your servants kneel before you
Please use that cat now

Punish us, punish me
I'm the one that loves you bitches can't you see?
Amy, Lily, Kitten DTV
I know what a slave and servant ought to be
I know what a slave and servant ought to be

Said if you want to call me slavey
I'll be your trick now
And if you coat yourself with gravy
I'll go and lick now
And if you wanted to use your powers
I will submit now
And if you like to whip for hours
Just go and hit now

The sick bitches stand before you
That what I said now
Bitches, bitches we adore you
You want some head now?
Magsy's butt dance will make us laugh
Pass the kegs now
C'lumby said she wants to boff a giraffe
They got long legs now

Punish us, punish me
I'm the one that loves you bitches can't you see?
Oh Mistress Nico and Doc Trixie
I know what a slave and servant ought to be
I know what a slave and servant ought to be

Said if you want to call me slavey
I'll be your trick now
And if you coat yourself with gravy
I'll go and lick now
And if you wanted to use your powers
I will submit now
And if you like to whip for hours
Just go and hit now

[Repeat and fade out]

All the Zenners in Zenville liked Christmas a lot
  But the Carrie Grinch with the green font did not
"I'll take all their pages, their links and their plushes!
  They can't have a Christmas if all they're left is toothbrushes!"

So Carrie the Grinch waited 'til the Zen was asleep
  And then she crept in, hardly making a peep
She took the Zen vodka, drank it all and felt woozy
  And then she even stole away the Zenner's favorite Jacuzzi!
She downloaded it all onto her PC's hard drive
  And then she sat back and laughed to see if Christmas could survive...

But lo and behold, when the Zenners woke the next morn
  They didn't care about presents, because they still had gay porn!
"I don't understand," muttered Carrie the Grinch,
  "How can they be singing, watching filth that makes ME flinch?"
"I took their Zen plushes! I took their Zen hookas!
  I took their Zen thumpers and their Zen-doo-pa-lookas!"

And the Carrie the Grinch thought that maybe she might
  Have had the wrong idea about Christmas night
"Maybe Christmas is not about shopping in malls
  And great mental stress, and kicking's elf balls..."
And then, well they say, in Zenville that day
  Carrie Grinch's preferences grew three sizes more gay
And she brought back their presents, in her grinchy green car
  And then the Grinch, yes the Grinch, stuck porn in the VCR

[In Boris Karloff voice]
"You're a gay one, Carrie Grinch, you're a real raging dyke;
  You are munching mucho rugs and you know it's what you like, Carrie Gri-iii-INCH!!"

You log into the Zen and you get really bored
You're shooting the breeze but you get ignored
Talking on topic is too much work
But you're a master (de)bater starting fights like a jerk

I'm your face...
With a case...
Of whooooooooooooop ass!!

You say it's unfair that you're not in the cast
You hypocrite, you've just been outclassed
Stop whining at home dressing in drag
Stand on your own two feet, don't call me and nag

I'm your face...
With a case...
Of whooooooooooooop ass!!

Don't step up with this girl if thats the line your gonna say
I'll kick your pansy boy ass any time of the day
Your face busted up and you're such a mess
Aw, man you shouldn't mess with the Quad Princess

I'm your face...
With a case...
Of whooooooooooooop ass!!