RASC Trekkin'
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- bs@boog.org -- http://boog.org
(A parody of "Star Trekkin'" by The Firm)

AMARNA
  You're all sexists, Janeway rulez, Janeway rulez, Janeway rulez;
  You're all sexists, Janeway rulez, Janeway rulez, GUYS!

CRONAN THOMPSON
  I'm not a sexist, you're a bitch, you're a bitch, you're a bitch;
  I'm not a sexist, you're a bitch, you're a bitch, SO THERE!

[CHORUS]
  Star Trekkin' across the internet
  Rec.arts.startrek.current, flames are all you get
  Star Trekkin' across the internet
  Boldly writing messages, but we can't spell yet!

FORD THAXTON
  You're all zombies, B5 sucks, B5 sucks, B5 sucks;
  You're all zombies, B5 sucks, and JMS is a liar!

FRANKLIN HUMMEL
  No, Star Trek sucks, the names are short, names are short, names are short;
  Star Trek sucks, the names are short, and so are you, Ford!

[CHORUS]

UBIQUITOUS
  There will be no fags, we'll find a cure, find a cure, find a cure;
  There will be no fags, we'll find a cure, stop looking at my butt!

DIABOLIQUE
  There is nothing wrong with gays in Trek, gays in Trek, gays in Trek;
  There is nothing wrong with gays in Trek, it's all those damned straights!

[CHORUS]

----------------------------------------
Arthur Levesque (bs@boog.org) wrote:

PICARD
  Computer, tea, Earl Grey, Earl Grey, Earl Grey;
  Computer, tea, Earl Grey, Earl Grey, hot!

TROI
  Number One, I feel your pain, feel your pain, feel your pain;
  Number One, I feel your pain, oh, wait, that's lust...

KHAN
  From hell's heart I stab at thee, stab at thee, stab at thee;
  With my last breath I spit at thee, spit at thee, Kirk!

JANEWAY
  We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, self-destruct;
  We cannot win, self-destruct, self-destruct, too late!

CHAKOTAY
  My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, had a saying;
  My ancestors had a saying, had a saying, oh, how'd it go?

HOLODOC
  Please state the nature of your problem, of your problem,
  Of your problem; please state the nature of your problem,
  Unless it's Janeway's voice.

NEELIX
  That's an anomaly, we can't go in, can't go in, can't go in;
  That's an anomaly, we can't go in, are you trying to get us killed?

KES
  I am not Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi, Deanna Troi;
  I am not Deanna Troi, my man's uglier!

Lara Benton Little (odosbukt@charlotte.infi.net) wrote:

WESLEY
  The Borg are off the starboard bow, starboard bow, starboard bow;
  The Borg are off the starboard bow, starboard bow, sir!

DATA
  It's life, sir, but better than us, better than us, better than us;
  It's life, sir, but better than us, better than us, captain.

CRUSHER
  It's worse than that, he's a mutant, Jean-Luc, a mutant, Jean-Luc,
  A Mutant, Jean-Luc; it's worse than that, he's a mutant, Jean-Luc,
  A mutant Jean-Luc, a mutant!

PICARD
  We come in peace, let us go, let us go, let us go;
  We come in peace, let us go, let us go, please?

GEORDI
  I cannot fix what I can't see sir, I can't see sir, I can't see
  Sir; I cannot fix what I can't see sir, fix what I can't see!

Brian K. Bragg (bkbragg@orl.mindspring.com) wrote:

KIRA
  There's Cardassians off the upper pylons, upper pylons, upper
  Pylons; there's Cardassians off the upper pylons, upper pylons,
  Sisko!

DAX
  I was a man, Doctor, but not like you think, not like you
  Think, not like you think; I was a man, Doctor, but not like
  You think, not like you think, Julian.

QUARK
  I didn't do it, didn't do it, didn't do it;
  I didn't do it, didn't do it, it was Rom!

ODO
  I'm going to catch you Quark, catch you Quark, catch you Quark;
  I'm gonna catch you Quark catch you Quark and then you go to jail.

GARAK
  It's worse than that, I'm a spy, Doctor, spy, Doctor, spy,
  Doctor; it's worse than that, I'm a spy, Doctor, spy, Doctor, spy!

SISKO
  Ah, we come in peace but take no shit, take no shit, take no shit;
  We come in peace but take no shit, take no shit men.

O'BRIEN
  Oh!  Bloody hell it's broke again, broke again, broke again;
  Oh!  Bloody hell, it's broke again, broke again, Cardie crap!

BASHIR
  I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, sleep with me;
  I'm cute, sleep with me, sleep with me, Dax!

JAKE
  I'm not Wesley, I'm not a geek, not a geek, not a geek;
  I'm not Wesley, I'm not a geek, not a geek, I'm just a kid.

Brendan Dillon (gottarun@nando.net) wrote:

JANEWAY
  I'm your CO, I'm a captain, I'm a captain, I'm a captain;
  I'm your CO, I'm your captain, I'm your captain, that's 'bout it.

KIM
  Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, my first mission;
  Sorry, it's my first mission, my first mission, I don't know.

HOLODOC
  Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, someone tell me;
  Why didn't someone tell me, someone tell me, huh?

PARIS
  [See Bashir in Brian's previous posting]

SUDER
  I used to kill people, I'm at peace now, I'm at peace now,
  I'm at peace now; I used to kill people, I'm at peace now,
  I'm at peace now, now I'm dead.

NEELIX
  Here, have some leola root, some leola root, some leola root;
  Here, have some leola root, why are you gagging like that?

TUVOK
  I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, I have logic, I have logic;
  I'm a Vulcan, I have logic, So why do I go mad so much?

Jessica Krucek (allronix@ix.netcom.com) wrote:

SISKO
  Just what the hell am i doing here, doing here, doing here;
  Just what the hell am i doing here, explaining time and space?

KIRA
  I am here on my people's behalf, people's behalf, people's behalf.
  I am here on my people's behalf - prophets damn the Feds!

[CHORUS]
  Star Trekkin, Deep Space Nine
  Sittin here pretty on the Cardassian border line
  Star Trekkin' Deep Space Nine
  Reactor's overheating - every system is off line

QUARK
  If you want fun, come to the Promenade, Promenade, Promenade;
  If you want fun, come to the Promenade, and I'll be sure to
  Cheat ya!

ODO
  I am here to arrest the thieves, arrest the thieves, arrest
  The theives; I am here to arrest the thieves - THAT MEANS YOU,
  QUARK!

[CHORUS]

DAX
  I'm a babe now, but used to be a guy, used to be a guy, used to
  Be a guy; I'm a babe now, but used to be a guy - Julian, quit
  Staring!

BASHIR
  She may be a guy, but I don't care, I don't care, I don't care;
  Dax may be a guy, but I don't care - Can I get your number?

[CHORUS]

Richard Dietlein (rdiet@concentric.net) wrote:

JANEWAY
  We must uphold the Prime Directive, prime directive, prime
  Directive; we must uphold the prime directive, so we'll
  Never get back home.

TORRES
  To hell with starfleet's sets of rules, sets of rules, sets
  Of rules; to hell with starfleet's sets of rules, sets of
  Rules again...