Dan Tropea (tropea@webtv.net) wrote on 19 May 1998
(Subject: Voyager gets whooped by 7th Heaven)

DT>I hate to be the bearer of really bad news but the following
DT>does not look good at all. If Voyager cannot even beat a WB
DT>repeat that is not good.  To have 17 shows in between a new
DT>episode of 7th Heaven (ranked at 64) and a new Voyager (82)
DT>is just pathetic. No offense to those who watch 7th Heaven
DT>it is a pretty good show and does deserve good ratings.

DT>Does anyone remember the Simon and Garfunkel song "Slip
DT>sliding away" well thats Voyager and their ratings.


RATINGS SLIDE AWAY
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- bs@boog.org -- http://boog.org
Inspired by Dan Tropea -- tropea@webtv.net
(To the tune of "Slip Sliding Away" by Paul Simon)

[Chorus]
Slip sliding away
Slip sliding away
You know the nearer you get to Alpha Quad
Your ratings slide away

Lightning in a bottle, they say they caught it thrice
They thought a new show with a woman would do just as nice
They sent Kate Janeway to the Badlands
On a crazy spree hunting the Maquis
But Voyager was lost with all hands

[Chorus]

Maquis enemies, they became her crew
Recycling old ideas though they said this show was new
They stole one guy's lungs, shades of "Spock's Brain"
They ripped "Inner Light"; had two halves of Torres fight
And legions of fans cried out in pain

[Chorus]

Setting up some conflict gone the next week
People can't even stand the hairstyles and the way she speaks
They've got a long trip, hurry and leave
Why go so slow, to help why say no
Even Gilligan's Island could sometimes be believed

[Chorus]

Whoa, First Contact, we have a plan
Give V'ger a Borg, silicone implants for the younger man
They copied B5 to get rid of Kes
Mined it again for "Living Witness"
When B5 ends where will they go next?

[Chorus twice]