Vannessa suggested: Q>And now for something completely different . . . instead of writing Q>parodies on our own, or together, I picked a song and Arthur and I Q>both tried to see what we could come up with... HI, MY NAME'S BRAD Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- bs@boog.org -- http://boog.org (To the tune of "Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" by Reunion) Brad and Janet didn't plan it, Scotty's classes, didn't can it Doctor Scott lost nephew Eddie, Ralph and Betty going steady Fall in love and gettin' married, bouquet carried, Brad is worried Ceremony, I do I do, looks like you're next, dammit love you Baby baby, Janet Janet, love me love me, dammit dammit Brad is driving in the rain, Nixon's jiving, country's pain Motorcycles, Tranny choir, life is cheap with a flat tire Grab a paper, kick the car, there's a castle, it's not too far Waddle waddle, there's a light, and knock knock knock, oh that's not right Hi, my name's Brad, and this here's my fiancee Gotta fix my flat tire, can we use your phone please? Hi, my name's Brad, and this here's my fiancee We don't want any trouble, just leave us alone please It's astounding, time is fleeting, people dancing, fat guy eating He's got no neck, that's outta sight, jump to the left and step to right He's a gasper, they're afraider, Janet faints at elevator Frankenfurter frankly struttin' toss the cape and pop a button At the throne it's all Magenta Riff and Frank and Columbia To the lab it's really fab and let us check what's on the slab Love and hate burst from the freezer, what a party, thank you geezer Frankfurter does Rocky Horror, everyone else does each other All the costumes getting thinner, people fuming, Meatloaf dinner Hi, my name's Brad, and this here's my fiancee Love her once in a while, this is such a strange night Hi, my name's Brad, and this here's my fiancee At the end of my mattress, lies a sweet transvestite After Janet's finished screamin' through the wall they all come streamin' Frank throws a switch on the big box, freezes them all even Brad's socks You're a hotdog don't you hurt her you're a hotdog Frank-N-Furter Brad's a statue, Scott then Janet, the Groupie's stoned, and Rocky's granite Frank does make-up, smokes a doobie, now a floorshow, peek-a-boobie Rocky Horror's got libido as he flosses his black speedo First a kickline, Frank's solution, followed by Riff's revolution Argue argue, shake and chatter, fire fire anti-matter Fill the pool with freaky bodies now it's time to blow this party... Hi, my name's Brad, and this here's my fiancee Gotta crawl through the rubble, get this stuff off my face Hi, my name's Brad, and this here's my fiancee It's the end of the story, we're lost in time and space ROCKY IS LIFE Lyrics by Vanessa Vittoe -- DikOfDeth@aol.com -- http://rockymusic.org/ROB/main.html (To the tune of "Life is a Rock (But the Radio Rolled Me)" by Reunion) Barry Bostwick and Jon Adams, tap shoes, Nell, you know she had em Meatloaf he played Scott and Eddie, Bobby Simon in a teddy Grab some fishnets, nitty gritty, rouge and lipstick, make it pretty Every nation, every city, ever risky ever witty Going Home and Hot Patootie, Curry singing Tutti Frutti Brian May, a biker bruiser, David Arquette is a loser Transylvania, dark refraining, garters and black undies straining Perry Bedden, Rayner Burton Gary glittered, and he's hurtin' Science fiction, double feature, Doctor X will build a creature Rocky is life, and the rest is a hassle Gotta dress up in costume, with sequins and tassles Rocky is life, and the rest is a hassle Right under my rainbow, is a flying castle RHPS, all left jumpin, Riff Raff and his back a humpin Freaks and sickos, perverts grinning, Smurfs are losing, Rocky's winning Ritz O'Brien, adulation, Tony Head, antici---pation Vic Spinetti, Robin Cousins, Donovan and Nicky Parsons Silver Jubilee production, nightly audience seduction Mimic every move and lyric, soundtrack in you gotta hear it Make it mono, DVD it, Don't just dream it, be it be it Planet Shmanet, Janet, dammit, ran it, am it, fan it, can it Down the river of night's dreaming, Riff is shooting Frank and screaming: Rocky is life, and the rest is a hassle Gotta dress up in costume, with sequins and tassles Rocky is life, and the rest is a hassle Right under my rainbow, is a flying castle Peter Hinwood's head is shiny, Sadie Corre's really tiny Brian Thompson set designer, Richard Hartley music timer Sue Blane going costume thrifting, Ishaq Bux's Dick is Frifting Michael Dalton, Rachel Hale and Georgie Hayes and Nathan Taylor Malcolm doing stage direction, Mary Maddox, face infection Scotty's wheelchair ever rolling, Edward ten-foot Tudor-poling Rose tint my world, Ralph and Betty, RKO and Eddie's Teddy Touch me, Touch me, thrill me, thrill me, dirty, dirty, chill me, chill me Love to all my rocky brothers, big fuck you to all the others Rocky is life, and the rest is a hassle Gotta dress up in costume, with sequins and tassles Rocky is life, and the rest is a hassle Right under my rainbow, is a flying castle