CASTLE TRANSYLVANIA
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- bs@boog.org -- http://boog.org
(To the tune of "Hotel California" by the Eagles)
(Official Cast Song of Towson's "Castle Transylvanians")

On a dark Denton highway, white rice in my hair
Words of Richard Nixon rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, motorcycle headlights
My head grew heavy and my tire grew flat
I had to stop for the night
There he stood in the tower, I rang the castle bell
And I was thinking to myself,
"It's a hunting lodge, or it could be hell."
Then he lifted a finger and he showed me the way
There were voices through the wooden door
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the Castle Transylvania
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place) such a lovely face
Plenty of room at the Castle Transylvania
Any time of year (any time of year) Frank'll find your rear!

His mind is Frederick's twisted
He got the Steve Reeves knee bends
He got a lot of pretty boys and girls that he calls friends
How they dance to the Time Warp
Sweet tranny sweat
Some fuck to remember, some fuck to forget
So I called to the butler, and I shouted some lines
He said, "We haven't had any virgins here since 1999."
But still those voices were calling from far away
Shake you up in the middle of a fuck
Just to hear them say...

Welcome to the Castle Transylvania
Such a lovely place (such a lovely place) such a lovely face
Living it up at the Castle Transylvania
What a nice surprise (what a nice surprise) fishnets on your thighs...

Roaches in the ashtray; it was pot, Scott deduced
And he said, "We are all just prisoners here until we get transduced."
On the dining table, Eddie was the feast
Riff fired with his laser gun, until Rocky was deceased
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I ducked for cover as the house flew back to the place it was before
"Relax," said the No-Neck, "we are insects on Earth's face
You can search for meaning all you like, lost in time and lost in space!"