Maureen Goldman (inkslinger@FOGsunshine.net) wrote:
MG>UPN isn't dead. It's just pining.

     This netowrk wouldn't vooom if you gave it 10,000 new viewers!
It's bleeding demised!

Eric D. Berge" (e_dberge@attglobal.net.invalid) asked:
EDD>...for the fjords?

     ITYM "fnords"

     All right, if it's resting, I'll wake it up then...  HELLO!!
UPN NETWORK SUITS!!  I'VE GOT A REALITY CHECK FOR YOU!!!   YOUR SHOWS
ALL SUCK!!!!  There, see, they moved!

Travers Naran (tnaran@direct.ca) wrote:
TN>I didn't want to be a Television Executive.  I wanted to be... a
TN>lumberjack!
TN>(Where's Arthur Levesque and his filk when you need him?)


THE (UPN) NETWORK SUIT SONG
Lyrics by Arthur Levesque -- bs@boog.org -- http://boog.org
(to the tune of Monty Python's "The Lumberjack Song")

NETWORK SUIT:
  Oh, I'm a network suit, and I'm OK
  I sleep all night and I sleep all day

YES-MEN:
  He's a network suit, and he's OK
  He sleeps all night and he sleeps all day

NETWORK SUIT:
  I end careers, I rewrite scripts
  It's ratings that I chase
  I'm proud to say that I made
  Homeboyz from Outer Space

YES-MEN:
  He ends careers, and rewrites scripts
  It's ratings that he'll chase
  He's proud to say that he made
  Homeboyz from Outer Space

  He's a network suit, and he's OK
  He sleeps all night and he sleeps all day

NETWORK SUIT:
  I end careers, I muck with shows
  Only I can make them hits
  I drop talented actors
  Replace 'em with big tits

YES-MEN:
  He ends careers, and mucks with shows
  Only he can make them hits
  He drops talented actors
  Replace 'em with big tits

  He's a network suit, and he's OK
  He sleeps all night and he sleeps all day

NETWORK SUIT:
  I end careers, I change formats
  Don't understand sci-fi
  I wish I could make big hits
  Just like that Ed Wood guy!

YES-MEN:
  He ends careers, changes formats
  Don't understand sci-fi
  He wishes he could make big hits...

  Big hits?  Seen the rating lately?  Etc.

  [Yes-Men walk off in disgust, muttering amongst themselves.
  A new executive comes in, boots out Network Suit, and is promptly
  surrounded by Yes-Men kissing HIS ass.]

  [Exeunt]